How do you do it?

I laugh every time I hear this question, which is pretty much on a daily basis.  How do you handle all those kids?  I don't know how you do it.  I can't even manage my one or two.  Well, I can't put them back (even though some days I wish that were possible) so I have to just do it.  Listen, I am far from a parenting expert.  I am learning as I go and hopefully my children won't all grow up needing therapy.  Some days go smoothly, but most days don't.  However, there are a few things that I think work well for our big family in regards to managing the madness.

First thing is that we are fairly structured.  We have a morning and evening routine.  The middle of the day is hit or miss, depending on the day and how many errands I have to run.  If it is a school day for the kids and work day for me, lunches are made, clothes are picked out for each kid and bags are packed the night before.  We eat supper early and everyone is in bed by 8, no exceptions during the week.  In the mornings, everyone wakes up around the same time.  They are dressed and fed breakfast first.  Then they can watch cartoons, while I get ready, until it's time to leave.  No TV before they are completely ready for the day.  This routine makes our days go fairly smooth.

Second thing is encouraging independence from an early age.  My girls are 100% self sufficient.  They can take their own showers, dress themselves, brush their teeth, tie their shoes, pack their bags, fix their lunches if needed, grab their own breakfast if needed, "fix" their own hair, make their beds, put up their laundry etc.  Do they look like hood rats most of the time?  Yes.  Do I even care if it means that they get themselves ready?  No.  If I'm running late, they can even change diapers and dress the boys.  I'm not going all Michelle Duggar, but I do believe that in big families, everyone pulls their weight.  I cannot do everything for everybody, so you just have to do it yourself around here.


Another question I get asked a lot is if I take all the kids with me places?  The answer is yes.  I would rather pull my eyelashes out than take all four grocery shopping with me, but some days there's just not another option.  The Hubby works a lot, which means it's just me and the kids a lot.  If I take them all somewhere, I ask them to repeat the rules to me in the car on the way.  I make them tell me what is expected of them while we are in a store or restaurant.  They know the drill and yell, "No running off, no yelling, no talking back, say yes ma'am, be nice, don't act like hooligans."  Because they know what's expected, they usually are somewhat well behaved.


Last, but certainly not least, is that I have a husband that helps so incredibly much around here.  Even though he works a lot, he definitely pulls his weight when he's home.  He does laundry, he picks up the house, he takes kids to school, he cooks dinner, he cleans up after dinner, he irons, he makes beds and he's pretty much just awesome.  We are a team in this parenting gig.  We work together.  The kids are not my sole responsibility just because he works constantly.  They are for us to screw up together.  They are ours until they graduate high school and we kick them out and wish them well.  Then we will pray that we did justice to this whole big family thing.

Adoption Update

Now that the holidays are over, recap of that coming, we are in full blown adoption mode.  Remember me telling you that we had to redo ALL of our paperwork?  Ugh.  It literally makes my stomach turn just thinking about it.  The first step was our homestudy update.  Our sweet social worker, Kristen, came by last week and took a look at the new house.  She is making changes on our previous paperwork as we speak.  Once we get that back, we have to request a new fingerprint appointment.  Last time this took about 2 months total.  Hopefully this time it will go a little faster.  While we are waiting on that, I will complete the rest of our paperwork for our dossier and have it ready to mail to Ethiopia!

I got our case manager from our agency on the phone last week.  I had about 30 questions for her.  She informed us that we are the only family within our agency that requested a child over the age of 2.  That means that as soon as our dossier is in Ethiopia, we will most likely get a referral of a child quickly.  That is extremely exciting and terrifying all at the same time.  We should be bringing our son home in 2013!

In a Bubble

It's really hard to get into the Christmas spirit with all the horrible things happening around us.  Seems like every day there is something new, something tragic.  I don't think that things are worse now than 10 years ago, I just think I'm a mom now so I notice these things more.  My first instinct when I heard about the shootings at Sandy Hook was to leave work and go get all of my hooligans.  My first instinct was to take them all home, pull Sophia out of school, home-school and live in a bubble of protection.  After the shock wore off and I had time to process everything I realized how ridiculous my initial thoughts were. 

My children are not my own.  They were a gift from God.  He is trusting me to take good care of them and to raise them in a Godly home.  They are His children and he loves them more than I could ever imagine.  He loves them more than me.  That is so hard to grasp.  How could anyone love them more than me?  It doesn't matter what I do to try and protect them from harm, we live in a fallen world where horrific things happen every day.  God doesn't make those things happen, but he allows them to.  I won't know all the answers until I am kneeling at his feet.  Living in a fallen world doesn't make me mad at God, it makes me long for him more.  I need Him.  We all need Him. 

Our pastor has mentioned numerous times that we will face trials on this side of Heaven.  There is not a person on this planet that won't go through hard times at some point in their life.  Where is our faith going to stand when we are confronted with those trials?  How do people get through tragedies without a relationship with Jesus Christ?

I can put my family in a bubble and shield them from the world.  Does that mean something terrible can't happen to them?  There is childhood cancer everywhere.  There are deadly car accidents daily.  There are horrible things that happen every second.  I would be devastated if something tragic happened to one of my children.  I would never get over it.  I don't know how I could get up every morning and carry on with my life.  I do know that God's grace would be sufficient in those times.  I know that He would carry me through and that because of my relationship with him, I would be healed.  Today I will hold them a little tighter, cherish them a little more, love them until it hurts.

Tree Farm

One of my favorite Christmas traditions that we've started with our family is going to a tree farm the day after Thanksgiving and cutting down our tree.  I've always loved real Christmas trees.  I love their imperfections and the way they make your house smell.  The first couple of years we were married we just ran up to Lowes and grabbed a tree.  About 2 days later each time, the daily sweeping around the tree began.  Needles everywhere.  Then we learned that if you cut down a fresh tree, they don't shed.  Praise the Lord for my sanity.  He knows how much I loathe cleaning.

Last year we discovered a little tree farm called Yesterland.  It is the cutest place ever.  They have a great Santa, lots of little rides and games for the kids, Fair type foods and a great selection of trees.  The kids loved it, so we went back this year and took some friends and family along.  The weather was perfect and we ended up staying for half of the day.

Surprise!

I'm not going to lie, I was a little ticked at the Hubby.  You see, I take birthdays very seriously.  It's the one day a year that is your day.  The Hubby isn't as thrilled about birthdays as I am.  Leading up to my 30th he hadn't really mentioned anything about my major milestone.  He hadn't asked what I wanted, he hadn't made any plans.  I was trying not to be upset because he is crazy busy with his business, but still, it's my 30th!!!  I was feeling a little sorry for myself and definitely did a lot of pity shopping for myself the day before.  The day of I woke up to a card and a bag of Depends, granny panties, Fixodent and old lady hair clips.  Haha, very funny.

That evening we got ready to go to our favorite local restaurant, Bin 303.  My mom came over to watch the kids so we could enjoy a nice dinner alone.  What happened when we walked in the restaurant is nothing short of a miracle.  He had planned a surprise party and all my close friends were waiting on me to celebrate.  I think I'm still in shock.  I seriously had no clue.  It was so much fun.   Lots of laughs, great food, great drinks, a Society Bakery cake.  My cup runneth over.  Now the bar is set high for the Hubby's 40th.  It's right around the corner, I've got to start planning.  He's not laughing right now!

The Big 3-0

Ugh...tomorrow is my birthday.  It's a big one.  I've been a little depressed about it for some reason.  A part of me is like, "age is just a number".  Another part of me is like, "HOLY CRAP, I'M OFFICIALLY AN ADULT!!!"  Most people assume that I have already passed this milestone.  I'm assuming it's because I have 100 kids.  I feel like it's because I look older than I am...hence the depression.  Regardless of my age, I'm thankful for another year.  I'm thankful to live in the house of my dreams, with the husband of my dreams and a boatload of healthy kids running around.  I'm thankful that I have a job that I love that allows me to work part time so I can enjoy being a Momma to my boatload of kids.  I'm thankful that the Hubby is much older than me.  That makes me feel a little better.  I look forward to the next decade.  I look forward to raising these little blessings and growing stronger in my walk with Jesus Christ.  I look forward to celebrating more anniversary's with the Hubby and growing old together.  I look forward to the day that I can afford my Mommy makeover and some botox.

The only thing I wanted for my birthday was a day by myself to go shopping.  Today was that day and it was FABULOUS.  The poor Hubby didn't feel well and had to deal with a screaming baby all day, but he never complained.  I went to my favorite mall with my favorite latte in hand.  I took my time going to all my favorite stores just browsing...and buying.  I had my first experience at the Dry Bar and it was amazing!  When I first got to the mall I went straight to Origins to pick up a couple of my favorite items.  There was this overly nice guy helping me.  I might have mentioned that I felt like I was looking old.  He might have scooped me away to the back and gave me an anti-aging facial.  I bought everything he put on my face.  I'm such a sucker like that.  Let's hope it works and erases 5 years off because then I won't be depressed about my big birthday anymore.
 

Dedicating Our Kids

This weekend we participated in our churches baby dedication ceremony.  Different churches have different things that they do in regards to children.  Some baptize babies, some sprinkle or christen.  As Baptists, we dedicate our children to the Lord.  We basically make a public profession to our church that we will commit to raising our child in a godly home and raise them to be followers of Christ.

A couple of weeks ago we were all in the car and Lola asked me what was I most afraid of?  I immediately responded, "Birds.  Duh."  That's a whole other post in itself.  They laughed because they realize that's ridiculous.  That's because they've never been attacked by a wild bird.  Again, another post.  She then asked Keith what his biggest fear was?  He responds, "My biggest fear is that any of my children won't grow up loving the Lord and having a personal relationship with Him."  A little too deep for our kids to fully grasp, but oh so true.  It brings tears to my eyes to think about one of our kids not walking with our Father throughout their lives. 


There have been times in my life that I have strayed from my relationship with the Lord.  Times that I was selfish and more concerned with my own wants than what the Lord wanted for me.  By His grace alone, I kept coming back and he kept forgiving me.  It's not about being perfect, we are all sinners.  It's not about doing good works, they won't get you through the gates of heaven.  It's about a personal relationship.  It's about seeking Him in everything we do.  It's about believing that Jesus Christ is our Savior.  It's about diving into his word and growing more and more spiritually.  I will never be a "perfect" christian.  There's no such thing.  I will, however, strive to walk more closely with Him than I did the day before.  I will strive to show our children everyday what a gift it is to follow Christ and pray without ceasing that they choose to do just that.

In honor of Thanksgiving and this being a month of openly giving thanks, I am so incredibly thankful that I live in a country where I can go to a place of worship and openly dedicate my children to the Lord. 


I have no greater joy than to hear my children are walking in the truth.  3 John 1:4