4 Feels Like 27

I always wanted a big family.  I love the idea of growing old and having a house full of children and grandchildren coming home for the holidays.  I guess I forgot to think through the fact that you can't get grown children out of the womb.  You have to raise them first.  Well crap.  Now I'm stuck in the middle of complete chaos and have like 20 more years to go.  Jesus, come quickly.  I'm kidding.  Sort of.  Here's the deal, 4 kids is hell.  Saying 4 doesn't sound like a lot, living with 4 is like living with 27.  Straight up.

All that being said, I pretty much hate summer.  Don't get me wrong, I love my big family.  However, I love them more when there isn't quite so much togetherness.  The first week of summer was bliss.  Everyone was excited, we had VBS every morning and nobody was on anybody's nerves...yet.  The second week of summer was pretty good.  We went to the water park and it was still cool enough for the kids to play outside most of the day.  The third week there was a lot of excitement about the next weeks beach vacation, so things were still going relatively well.  Then we went on a little vacay, where we were all crammed in close quarters for a week and it was all downhill after that.  This past week was a nightmare.  Lots of fighting, lots of talking back, lots of "I'm bored", lots of spankings and vinegar.  Throw on top of all that, potty training a stubborn 3 year old because I refuse to have 3 kids in diapers.  And, anxiously awaiting a call that we can travel before rainy season to go to court is about all I can handle.

I like to think that I usually have everything together, but sometimes I don't.  This summer is one of those times and I'm just going to be okay with that.  I'm also okay with the fact that I don't like my kids 24/7.  Sometimes they are just a big pain in my ass.  Sometimes I wonder why we have so many dang kids?  Sometimes I sit around and think about all the things we could do if we didn't have any kids. World traveler?  Yes, please.

Then there are those random times throughout our chaotic days where Sophia wants to sit with me and talk about all the things she wants to do in life.  And times when Lola comes out of my closet decked out in my clothes and wants to have an impromptu fashion show.  And times when Beckham comes up and hugs my leg and tells me that I'm his princess.  And times when Hendrix is nursing and looks up at me with those big eyes and they pierce through to my heart.  It's in these times that I know my life is so much richer with all these hooligans in it.  There's more laughter, there's more fun, there's more love.  No matter how much they may drive me crazy, I would not trade these long days for anything under the sun.

Raffle Winner

In case we are not friends on Facebook, there was a winner for the raffle.  One of my oldest and dearest clients, Linda Johnson, won all of the amazing prizes!  She was so excited and said that she had never won anything before this.  We ended up raising about $2600!!!  We feel so blessed.  Thank you to everyone who donated towards our adoption, we appreciate you more than you will ever know.  Thank you for helping us get one step closer to bringing our sweet Silas home.  Speaking of Silas, no referral this month.  We were really expecting one, but as with everything else in this process, you never know what to expect.  I was sad, but I know this is all in God's timing.  So we still wait...

"I'm not called to adopt"

There wasn't a divine moment in my life when I was called to adopt.  The heavens didn't open, God didn't come down and stop me in my tracks and tell me to adopt a little boy from Ethiopia.  I fully believe that God makes some people's decisions to adopt that clear.  I believe that it's not as black and white for others.  I also believe that there are tons of people that automatically dismiss adoption because they believe they aren't called to adopt.  This makes me very sad because the bible is perfectly clear that we are to care for orphans. 

James 1:27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

Most of you know our story and how I have been open to adoption for years.  The Hubby on the other hand, not so much.  He was very content with our 3 kids, the cost was overwhelming and the thought of having a child that didn't look like the rest of us was a lot to have to deal with for the rest of our lives.  Trust me, I know that your mind can take you to a million places of why adoption would just be too much for you.  So, I asked him to commit to praying about adoption for a couple of months.  Let me tell you something, if you commit to praying about adoption, God is probably going to tell you to do it.  Why?  Because there is no justifiable reason why there are still 153,000,000 orphans on this planet!!!

I think the biggest fear most people have of adoption is how it will affect their comfortable lifestyles.

"We already have enough kids"
"We can't afford it"
"We don't have room in our house"
"What if the child has mental issues or health problems"

I could go on and on.  Listen closely.
It is not your decision as to how many kids you have, it's God's.  (I can completely attest to this)

If you choose to adopt and follow His will, the funds will be provided for you.  There are ways to adopt that will cost you zero dollars.  I would also throw in there that your kids don't have to be involved in a million activities that cost a ton of money.  You don't have to go on elaborate vacations every year.  You don't have to drive a brand new car and live in an expensive house.  And, show me where in the bible it tells you that you are required as a parent to give your child a car when they turn 16, pay for them an iPhone or put them through college and give them a 50k wedding?  All of those things are the American dream, not God's dream.  (I will get off my high horse now.)

Your kids can share a room, you don't have to live in a mansion.  Bunk 8 of them up together!  Hell, they will learn to respect one another and teach them how to live in harmony.

If you adopt a child that has physical or mental issues, then you can praise the Lord that we live in a country that has an abundant supply of people in the medical field to help with any issues your child may have.  You are right, you aren't guaranteed a perfectly healthy, "normal" child.  You aren't guaranteed that when you have biological children either.

Adoption is hard, mentally and financially.  It will never get easier, but you know what?  God doesn't call us to do things that are comfortable and easy.  He calls us to do things that aren't the norm and especially things that aren't categorized under the "American Dream".  He calls us to obey Him no matter what our circumstances are.  There should not be an orphan crisis.  Don't tell me that you aren't "called" to adopt.  Pray about it and let Christ make that decision for you.

The Name Silas

Have I mentioned that we are number 1 on the waiting list?  That basically means that any moment our agency could call to tell us that they've found our little boy!  I think a lot of people are confused and think that there is a specific child already picked out for us.  I'm assuming the confusion comes from the fact that we've called him Silas since we started this process.  Let me explain...

Here's how it works.  When you get to the top of the waiting list within your agency the agency starts to look for files of children that would fit into your family.  I say this because our agency will not refer a child to a family that is the same age as a child you already have.  So they are looking for a child that will fit in the middle somewhere in our case.  Once they have a file that they think would work, they call us first and ask if we are interested.  Of course we will scream, "YES"!  At that point, they will send his file to us.  It will have a picture of him, along with any information they have on him like status of birth parents, where he's from and his medical report.  We will have 14 days to pray over him and accept or decline the referral.  I can't imagine any reason why anyone would decline a child, but I'm sure it's happened.

So, when we decided to adopt, we initially requested a baby.  Most of the children in Ethiopia have names that are difficult to pronounce, so we decided that we would give him a name and keep his given name as well.  He would be too young to know the difference anyway.  We chose the name Silas.  We both just loved the name and wanted this child across the world to be personal to us as we waited on him.  Using his name, that we would give him, made him seem more real and close to us for some reason.  We would pray every night for Silas, not "Lord, take care of our child on the other side of the planet".  Our kids have called him by his name since day one.  Everyone that we know ask about updates on Silas.  He has a name and everyone knows it!

Fast forward past our very unexpected pregnancy and delay in the adoption, we decide to adopt an older child instead.  Then we had the dilemma of knowing that we were getting a child that will know his given name.  After talking with several people, that know a lot more about child psychology than we do, we decided to keep the name Silas.  We will still keep his given name as well.  We will call him by both for awhile and then I'm sure he will get 600 nicknames added to it, just like all my other kids.  Seriously, they all have at least 8 nicknames each and will answer to any of them! 

Anyway, hope that clears things up.  We do not have a referral of a child...yet.  When we do get him, his name will be Silas and he's going to be awesome!

Paperwork...done

I just breathed a huge sigh of relief.  Our dossier is done.  Done.  I think I've mentioned a hundred times how much I hate paperwork.  I feel like for the past year and a half, it's been hovering over my head.  It's done.  Thursday we will scan and email all of it to our case worker, she will go over it with a fine tooth comb and note any changes that need to be made.  Hopefully there will be none and we can send it to Ethiopia!  I did converse with our agency shortly today and she said she is already on the lookout for a little boy for our family.  EEEK!  Although she cannot give us a time frame, she is optimistic that our wait shouldn't be long.  Part of me is terrified, part of me wants to jump up and down like I just won a trip to Hawaii.  Either way, it is out of our hands and all in Gods timing. 

"Thank you, Lord, for working out all the details.  Thank you for laying this on our hearts.  Thank you for giving us encouragement every step of the way.  Thank you for not letting the numbers and stress get in the way of our decision to follow your will for our lives.  Thank you for that precious boy on the other side of the world that has no idea how much he is already loved.  Prepare our hearts for him and his heart for us.  Now hustle up and get him home!"

Photo Catch Up

I pretty much document our lives via instagram these days.  It's a good way to make sure I take photos and don't become "that mom" that doesn't have a picture of her 3rd and 4th kid.  I'm also becoming "that annoying mom" that posts way too many pictures of her adorable hooligans.  Sorry if I annoy you.  Here's what my days off consist of...

Taking #1 to drum less, she's pretty talented if I do say so myself!

 #1 and our Pepaw.  So sweet.

Going on picnics with the fam in this beautiful Texas weather

Lots of playing at the park

Lots of laundry

 and Uno

Taking this wild woman to gymnastics

and working on modesty...

Picking up cars all over my floors because a certain somebody is OBSESSED with them

Watching chunk grow...

and grow...

and smooching all over his obese cheeks

Wearing Aztec Healing Clay to tighten my "old" skin...

and going on as many date nights with this hottie as possible!

Workin on my Fitness

It's time.  It's time to actually do something about this post baby, baby, baby, baby body.  Most people roll their eyes at me when I start talking about how I need to get in shape.  The people that know me best know that I'm a big talker when it comes to stuff like this.  I can talk all day long about health, that doesn't mean I apply it to myself.  The people that don't know me well roll their eyes because to most people I appear thin.  I feel crazy blessed that the baby weight kind of just falls off after each baby.  Mix this with knowing the right clothes to wear to make me appear thinner, I think I look pretty decent.  However, I call myself skinny fat.  You see, just looking at me in clothes I look like a thin person.  Look at me in a bikini (which you will never see me in by the way) and this body is complete mush.  I'm sure there's muscles under there somewhere?  Maybe, maybe not?  I haven't seen one in so long that I'm not so sure anymore. 

After my partial midlife crisis when I turned 30, that's when I decided that I need to be a more disciplined person physically and spiritually.  Let's face it, with 4 kids there is no spare time to work these things in.  If I don't make time for every important thing I need to do, it's just not going to get done.  There is never going to be extra time to read my bible and have quiet time with the Lord, I have to make time for that.  There's not going to be 45 minutes in my day where I can work out uninterrupted, I have to make time for that.  A few months ago I joined a local boot camp and it was fantastic.  However, it was at 6:30 three evenings a week and it was almost impossible to be consistent in going because of mine and the Hubby's work schedule.  I started doing research on all the local gyms and different classes.  I knew that the only way I could make classes on a regular basis is if I went before my family gets up in the morning.  That's when I heard about hot yoga and pilates.


I went on Saturday morning and toured the studio.  The owner was super nice and we talked yoga, life and adoption for over 45 minutes.  I watched people come in and out and guess what...they didn't all look like fitness models.  I didn't feel like I was completely out of my element and actually got excited about starting.  Not only is it great for toning your body, but apparently it's a huge stress reliever.  Maybe after a few classes I can wean myself off Zoloft?  Can I get an amen?  So, tomorrow is my first class.  While all of you are sleeping peacefully, I will be getting my yoga on.  I'm putting this out there for the whole world to know so that when my 5 followers run into me and ask me how my classes are going I hopefully won't hold me head in shame and say I quit, but instead, tell you to check out this hot momma's 6 pack.  What, what. 

I'll keep you posted.  No, I will not post before and after pictures.