Getting Robel Part 2

So we finally get to Ethiopia at 7am on the 23rd.  The Ethiopian airport is all sorts of disorganized.  We waited for over an hour to get our Visa, then stood in line for over an hour to get fingerprinted, then had to find the 3 bags that we checked on top of the 2 bags that we carried on.  So, we finally walked out of the airport at almost 10:00.  We checked into our guest house and decided to go grab lunch and do some shopping real quick before we had to be at The Thomas Center at 4 to pick up our little man.  Our driver/translator is just an amazing guy who definitely has a heart for orphans and is able to go into a lot of the orphanages with groups that come in to volunteer.  We talked over lunch about the things that he had been seeing and the rumors going around of Ethiopia closing adoptions altogether.  By the time lunch was over I felt like I was going to throw up and it wasn't because of the food.

The Prime Minister of Women's Affairs in Ethiopia doesn't like Americans adopting their children.  They are trying to encourage more domestic adoptions, which is making international adoptions slow down a lot.  The problem with this is that Ethiopians cannot afford to take care of more kids.  They can barely afford the children they have of their own, which is why there are hundreds of abandoned children on a weekly basis.  Now that adoptions are slowing down and the government can't afford to take care of these children, orphanages are overrun with children who get very little or no care at all.  There isn't money for food, formula, diapers or medicine.  There are babies dying every minute in government ran orphanages from simple colds.  Robel spent the first year + of his life in one of these orphanages and only weighed 15 pounds and couldn't even sit up when he was 15 months old.

I don't know how to solve the orphan crisis, I so wish I did.  Obviously, the best thing for the child is to be able to be taken care of by their birth parents.  That is the best scenario for every child.  However, if the birth parents cannot take care of that child, then someone else should.  Every child deserves a family.  Every child deserves that.  Every child should feel loved and wanted and cared for.  Think about if you weren't able to feed one or all of your children and you had to make the decision to give them a chance to survive.  Can you imagine your child being put in an orphanage with tons of other children and 1 caregiver for every 20 kids?  Could you imagine them barely getting fed and never getting rocked or hugged or their diaper changed more than once a day?  Could you imaging them slowly regressing in development because they are under stimulated?  There are MILLIONS of children that are living in these conditions with zero hope of anything else.  What happens to them once they age out of the orphanage?  They are put out on the streets with no survival skills and expected to survive in the world.  Well, they don't.  They turn to drugs or prostitution or kill themselves because they would rather die than keep suffering.  Can you imagine that being your child?  This problem isn't going to go away, it's only going to get worse.  We cannot sit around and wait for someone else to try and "fix" this problem.  If this bothers you as much as it bothers me, do something about it.  Find an orphanage to support financially, pray about adopting, go on a mission trip and serve others who need hope.  Advocate for these kids.

I digress.  So, we get to Robel's transition home and he was ready and waiting for us!  There weren't as many tears on his part this time, until we had to wait for an hour on paperwork and he slowly started realizing what was going on.  We finally got to leave with him and he loved the car ride.  We went back to our guesthouse and he was playing and cuddling and eating great.  I laid down with him and he went straight to sleep and slept all night.  I was thinking, we just adopted the most chill child ever.  I shouldn't of held my breath.  The next day went pretty well.  We had to take him to Embassy to get his Visa and we ate at a pizza place where an older Ethiopian kept telling me what to do with our fussy toddler.  That night he slept great again and I was feeling pretty good about everything.  Then came Friday.  I guess Robel finally realized that we weren't taking him back and he pretty much cried all day.  He wouldn't let anyone but me hold him and every time I put him down, he freaked out.  I couldn't do anything to make him happy and he wouldn't take a nap even though he was exhausted.  By 7pm, when it was time to leave for the airport, we were both bawling.  I took him out on the balcony to rock him and just cried and cried.  I told the Hubby that we were probably making a mistake and that we should just take him back to the orphanage where he was happy.  The Hubby talked me off of the cliff and we headed to the airport for our 17 hour flight to DC.

Honestly, the plane ride is kind of a blur now.  Robel and I did sleep some and we were able to keep him entertained with only a few screaming fits.  We found out quickly that Robee loves bread and eats it very slowly, so we basically just fed him bread the entire flight.  We finally land and we are all exhausted.  I've been holding a 2.5 year old for 17 hours and my back and arms are about to break.  We get off of the plane and wait in line for customs.  I decide that since Ro screams when the Hubby holds him and my arms are limp, that Ro can walk.  Well, he didn't want to walk.  Hell, I didn't either.  What does he do?  Throws down a tantrum like I've never seen before.  Not a tear in his eye, but kicking and screaming and pinching me.  This is when a lovely employee of Ethiopian Airlines decides that she needs to get all up in my business.  Our convo went something like this...

Lady- What's wrong with him?
Me- He's throwing a fit because he doesn't want to walk.
Lady- Why doesn't he have shoes on?
Me- Because he kicked them off.
Lady- Where is his stroller?
Me- I wasn't going to carry a stroller all over Ethiopia to use it for 2 hours in the airport.
Lady- Well, you shouldn't let him cry like that because he could get sick.
Me- Thank you so much for your help!

Well, we are in America now and when American children throw fits like this, they go to the bathroom and get a spanking.  You should be glad that I will give him some time to settle in before we do that.  Seriously?  Mind your own damn business.  I have just gotten off of a 17 hour flight with a toddler that doesn't understand or know me.  I'm exhausted and am about to pull my hair out, but you're worried that Robee might puke because he's throwing a terrible two's fit?  Maybe you should just get me a cocktail and shut up, ummkay?!!

Then the tears started on my behalf and I could not pull myself together.  The weight of the past 2 1/2 years finally caught up with me and I was done.  I cried for about 2 hours straight.  All sorts of strangers were coming up to me and Robee trying to make us both happy, no luck.  The Hubby kept asking what was wrong?  I couldn't tell him because I didn't know.  All I knew was that I was more emotionally exhausted than I had ever been and I had a little leech that threw horrific fits and with all of my years of parenting experience, I couldn't make him happy.  Therefore, I wasn't happy.  I prayed that God would remind me why I decided to do this and reassure me that I wasn't ruining our lives and you know what?  He did.  The Hubby fell asleep, so I had a couple of hours of airport entertaining to do.  Within a few minutes, Robee started to show his personality for the first time.  He started laughing and talking and running around and giving me kisses.  He started gaining more confidence in me and me in him, and started to actually like him!

The second leg of the trip home was in one of those super tiny planes that only seat about 60 people and are super bumpy.  Fantastic.  Our flight attendant was a real peach and told me that I had to put Ro in his own seat and buckle him.  Are.  You.  Kidding.  Me?  I calmly explained that he was super clingy and would lose all of his ever loving marbles if I put him in that seat and locked him down.  She said she didn't care.  I made sure that she repeated so that everyone around me heard that it was her fault their flight was about to be the most excruciating ride of their lives.  So, I lock Robee down in his seat and sure enough...he lost all of his marbles.  Screaming, flopping around, hitting and biting the fire out of me until...he wore himself out and slept for the entire plane ride.  Maybe that flight attendant wasn't such a jerk anyway.  So I enjoyed 2 glasses of terrible wine and soaked in the peace and quiet.

Getting Robel Part 1

Easter Sunday was the day.  The kids woke up to Easter baskets and we got ready for church.  There was tons of clothes drama because one freaking day a year, I get to choose what my children wear to church.  Of course they had coordinating outfits and number 1&3 griped about theirs all morning.  Shoot me.  I'm pretty sure that I lost my marbles on them in the car, on the way to church, and told them they were ruining my whole Easter.  I'm a really awesome parent like that.  After church sped to our favorite Mexican restaurant to try and beat the church crowd and savor the last good meal we would have for a week.

We left for the airport around 3 and there were lots of tears from #2.  She does not like for us to be gone.  She's a homebody and wants everyone in the family home with her.  She's a silent stresser.  We get to the airport and have a flight to Charlotte, then change planes and head to DC.  The Hubby and I were not seated together on the first leg of the trip.  I was in between a man and his 10 year old son.  We immediately started talking and come to find out, he had 4 bios and 1 adopted from Russia.  Then he goes on to tell me their whole adoption story and how they brought their son home when he was 2.5, like Robee.  He immediately started showing lots of anger issues and they couldn't get him to attach.  He was violent and harmed himself and others around him.  They put him in every therapy known to man and eventually, at the age of 8, sent him to a camp that works with children like him and he will stay there for 2 years and then they will re-evaluate.  OMG.  Why are you telling me this on the plane when I'm headed to pick my 2.5 year old, adopted son?  As if I wasn't already stressed about this whole process.

Then we flew from Charlotte to DC and checked into our hotel for the night.  Because we had already received our boarding passes for all 3 flights back in Dallas, I didn't even think to check on our flight status.  So, we get to the airport the next morning, go all the way through security and get to our gate only to find out that our flight had been cancelled.  Are you for real?  Apparently, there was a broken windshield on the plane or something.  Can't you just put some duct tape on that and take us to Ethiopia?  Apparently not.  So, the next flight didn't leave until the next morning and we had a whole day in DC.  Not gonna lie, I was actually pretty excited.  It was a beautiful day and the Hubby had never been to DC.  Impromptu date day?!

So we rented a car and headed to the city.  We saw all the sights that we could fit in, got sunburned and leg cramps from all the walking.  We ate delicious food, shopped, had the best cupcake of my life at Georgetown Cupcakes and enjoyed our little baby moon before our lives got rocked!

Almost Go Time

We finally, officially cleared Embassy!  Praise the Lord!  We weren't suppose to get word until tomorrow, which is when our finder interview had been rescheduled.  After being super frustrated with not being able to travel last month, I basically rode Embassy's you know what.  Like would email them every other day making sure that they were still on top of our case and seeing if there was anyway to appeal this step in the process or go about it another way.  Finally, our consular officer requested a phone interview with the police officer that filed all of the paperwork for Robel's abandonment.  It was suppose to be last Monday, then it didn't happen.  Tuesday I didn't hear anything and Wednesday I started bugging Embassy again about it.  Our officer replied back that they had conducted the phone interview, but were still requiring the finder interview on the 17th.  Keep in mind that we had already booked our tickets for the 20th.  Basically, on a scale of 1-10 my stress level was a 75.

Thursday morning I get up and am making breakfast for the kids when the Hubby comes in and asks if we cleared Embassy?  Umm...no, why would he even ask me that?  Well, he asked me that because Embassy had emailed HIM and told HIM that they were going to go ahead and clear us and were cancelling our finder interview based on having enough information from the police officer.  First of all, why the crap are they emailing HIM?  I send and receive all the emails, I stay in contact with all the important people, I did 99% of the leg work in this adoption but they email HIM the most important and exciting news EVER.  Jerks.  Second, it is only by the grace of God and the hundreds, maybe thousands of prayers that were being poured out on our behalf that we got cleared without a finder interview.  That basically never happens.  Ever.  To God be the glory!

So, this week is slightly stressful.  Here are the most common asked questions from this past week..Am I ready?  No.  Have I packed?  No.  Am I excited?  I don't have time for that yet.  Where is Robel going to sleep?  No idea.  Am I going to drug him on the plane ride home?  Absolutely. 

Pretty much the only things I can focus on right now is my ever long to do list and praying that we aren't on the next flight 370.  Can I get an amen?  No seriously, we updated our will just in case...
Pray for us.

Clean Eating

Ugh...the Hubby and I started 30 days of clean eating last week.  Neither of us needs to lose much weight, but we pretty much eat like crap all the time.  We love good food and trying new restaurants.  His weakness is salty foods and mine is sugar.  Like, I could eat a brownie sundae every day for the rest of my life and be sooo happy.  We have eaten about 95% organic for about 6 years now.  However, organic sugar and butter pack the same amount of calories and fat as non organic sugar and butter.  Anyway, it pretty much all boils down to the fact that my brother is getting married in a month and I bought a dress that's a tid bit tight and would really like to wear it comfortably.  Plus, I need to quit depending on sugar so much and form better eating habits.

So, I went to 3 different grocery stores last week and dropped about $300 on organic lean meats, fruits and vegetables.  Plus everything I needed for smoothies, because I need my sweet fix everyday.  The first morning I looked in our cram packed refrigerator and thought to myself that I had nothing to eat and was going to starve on this diet.  First world problems.  I ended up making some eggs and a smoothie for breakfast and within an hour was STARVING.  I mean, my body is use to bagels and PB&J's and banana bread for breakfast.  It was in no carb shock.  I crammed my face full of carrots and salad and fruit and nuts all day....and I was still in starvation mode.  Day 2 went a little better.  I slowly started realizing what my body needed and when.  Finding the right balance of protein and grains along with fruits and veggies is a science I tell ya.

Day 3 I was craving mexican food, because that usually takes up about 50% of my normal diet.  So, I went to Chipotle for lunch and got a bowl loaded with chicken and guacamole, along with all the other healthy stuff.  It melted in my mouth.  By day 4 I realized a few things about eating clean.  First thing was that I was sleeping like a rock without any melatonin help.  Second, the first week of clean eating will clean you out, no additional fiber needed.  Third, I had a ton of energy and didn't hit my afternoon 'Oh crap, I have to have some sugar and some caffeine and I wish I could take a cat nap so I can get through the rest of this day' mode. 

After 7 days I weighed and lost 5 pounds exactly.  I even cheated a little and had a couple of glasses of wine...and a few non fat lattes.  Don't judge.  So, needless to say, all those clean eating freaks aren't all that crazy.  I think I may forever be one of them!  I will keep you posted.  Off to make my kale smoothie.

My Thoughts on Church

I grew up going to church every week, usually 2-3 times a week.  That's what you were suppose to do.  I have lots of great memories of my church growing up.  All of my friends went and there was Wednesday night youth events, camps and disciple now weekends.  I learned a lot about faith , the bible and God.  I learned how to navigate my way around the bible and was told how much God loved me.  I knew all of the words to worship songs and asked Jesus to be apart of my life.

I also learned that there was a long list of dos and don'ts and if you stayed away from the "don'ts" then you wouldn't be judged and you were definitely going to heaven.  Unfortunately for me, I chose the don'ts more than the dos so I was pretty much looked down upon and talked about by the people that were suppose to be loving on me.  So, as soon as I graduated high school I just quit going to church.  I mean, the judgy looks I'd get the morning after I'd been out all night drinking and hanging out with all those "sinners" on Saturday night just wasn't worth anything that I may have gotten from a sermon.

The thing about the Holy Spirit is that when you are a believer, He constantly tugs at your soul and will not let you run too far away from him.  Because of that, when the Hubby and I got married, I decided that we needed to find a church.  A church that we could both agree on and a church that would love us for who we were and fill us with what we needed starting our lives together.  We tried several.  The Hubby wanted a mega, non denominational church and I wanted a smaller church that had lots of newly marrieds that we could befriend and do life with.  We ended up at a mega Baptist church that had everything to offer.  We loved it there.  We made friends, we enjoyed going and serving and growing in our faith.  It restored my faith in the church and it's people.  Not because the church was just that awesome, but because I changed my attitude towards church.

You see, I decided one day that I was going to study the bible on my own.  Without any preconceived notions that had been imbedded into my head, I was going to study the bible all by myself and come to my own conclusions about church and faith and who God really was.  I realized through that that I could not look to a pastor or worship leader or Sunday school teacher to determine my faith or to fix my broken relationship with God, that was up to me.  I also realized the church is full of jacked up hypocrites.  I know that because I am one of them.  Who am I to judge the screwed up people inside the church when I'm one of those screwed up people?  I'm a sinner and I need Jesus and so does every one else that chooses to step foot through a church door.  People nowadays don't go to church because that's what they are suppose to do, they go to church because they are yearning for something that the church can offer.


After 10 years at that church, we felt like the Lord was leading us somewhere else.  We prayed about it and visited other churches in our town.  We kept going back to one in particular that was very different than what we were use to.  It's small and very laid back.  There's nothing fancy about it, in fact, we meet in a barn.  It's the kind of church where everybody knows everybody.  The teachings are solid, the music is raw and soothing.  The people love on each other and are all there to better their walk with Christ.  It's refreshing.

I most certainly do not think that you have to go to church every Sunday to have a personal relationship with God.  There are missionaries all over this world that never get the opportunity to ever step foot in a church.  At the end of the day, God knows your heart and knows where you stand with Him.  However, as much as the people inside the church are jacked up, they are jacked up together and are all working on their jackedupness.  Yeah, I just made that a word.  I truly believe that there's a church out there for everyone, you just have to find the right fit for you.  10 years ago, it was a huge mega church with all the bells and whistles.  Now, it's a tiny little Baptist church that meets in a barn.  No matter where you go, there will be things that you don't like.  Why?  Because there's no perfect church.  But there is a perfect God and everyone needs him.  The churches job is to love on people and help lift each other up to bring each other closer to Him.  It's job is to hold you accountable so that you can constantly grow in your faith and quit falling victim to the same sins that have a hold on to you.  It's job is to surround you with people that are jacked up like you, so that you can help each other be more like Christ and less jacked up.

There are lots of churches that offer all of these things and more.  Find one.  Keep going from one to the next to the next until you find one that works for you.  Then once you're there, jump in.  Build relationships with fellow believers, serve with your God given talents, give to further the kingdom and you will be so much better for it.  You will find your purpose.  My thoughts on church are that it's pretty awesome and you should probably try it.

Travel Postponed

We received official word Friday morning that our finder interview had been moved to April 17th.  Even though I was expecting this, I had still been hoping and praying for a miracle and that we could still keep our original travel plans.  I'm not much of a crier, so I just immediately got mad.  Mad at the fact that we weren't leaving for another month, mad at the US Embassy for requiring a stupid finder interview anyway, mad at the fact that I had moved mountains to get my work schedule rearranged and the kids taken care of for a week while we'd be gone and really mad at our finder for being such a douche bag and not showing up for his original interview.  Why does this process have to take so freaking long?

I guess the weight of the previous weeks stress finally got to me when I walked into my favorite, local coffee shop for my daily latte, and my favorite barista asked me how I was doing and the tears started flowing....and flowing and flowing.  I could not pull myself together, for like 2 hours.  Poor barista didn't know what to do with me.  Can we say awkward?  So it was then work as usual with smudged mascara and a red face.  I guess that sometimes girls really do just need a good cry.  I feel better now.

So now we just wait.  Our tentative travel dates are now April 20-26.  We are trying to get the interview moved up and praying like crazy that our finder actually shows up this time and that we will get cleared easily.  It is comforting to know that Robel's life is the same.  He is too young to understand that he has a family in Texas and is in a wonderful orphanage where he has great care.  He is healthy and thriving and has hundreds of people praying for him every day.  What more could a momma ask for?  God's timing is always perfect, even if we don't understand it.

The 11th Hour (adoption update)

There are these moments, while you are in the adoption process, where you feel like you got punched in the gut.  It's not that hard to do when you are dealing with the fact that your child is on the other side of the world and everything that you have to do to get him home is in other people's hands.  Every little, or big, set back just takes the wind out of you and proves just how little control we have.  This is exactly what happened this week. 

The ONLY thing we are waiting on in order for us to travel is Robel's finder interview.  The US Embassy has to interview either the child's birth parent, or the person that found the abandoned child.  The interview was set for yesterday at 7:30 am, which would be 10:30 pm Thursday night-our time.  Our finder would have to travel over 5 hours to get to his interview, but agreed and everything was a go.  We were expecting clearance Friday morning and then could travel as soon as we liked.  I started looking at plane tickets once the interview was set to get an idea of potential travel dates.  Let's face it, with 4 kids and a job, trying to leave the country for a week is like moving mountains.  There were very little travel options online, so I contacted our travel agent to have her look.  She was having a hard time getting us flights as well.  We made the decision based on faith and went ahead and booked our tickets for a week after the finder interview.


All day Thursday, my stomach was in knots.  Thursday afternoon we received an email letting us know that our finder couldn't make his Embassy appointment.  Punched in gut feeling times 100.  Unfortunately for us, Ethiopia is 9 hours ahead of us, which means that everyone there is already headed into their weekend.  Which also means that we don't have any answers as to why he couldn't make it, no answers as to whether or not he can reschedule or when that could possibly be?!  Can Monday get here soon enough?  We are suppose to board a plane in 8 days.  Stressed doesn't even do this situation justice.

After speaking with our case worker, we decided to keep our travel plans as is.  We are going to trust that we get this interview taken care of this coming week, that everything will go smoothly and we will get cleared to come get our son before we board a plane in 8 days.  Did I say that already?  Holy crap.  Please be in prayer with us that all of this happens, that we can keep our travel dates the same, and that God is preparing our sweet Robel's heart for us!  Good grief I can't wait to get our little man home!