Travel Postponed

We received official word Friday morning that our finder interview had been moved to April 17th.  Even though I was expecting this, I had still been hoping and praying for a miracle and that we could still keep our original travel plans.  I'm not much of a crier, so I just immediately got mad.  Mad at the fact that we weren't leaving for another month, mad at the US Embassy for requiring a stupid finder interview anyway, mad at the fact that I had moved mountains to get my work schedule rearranged and the kids taken care of for a week while we'd be gone and really mad at our finder for being such a douche bag and not showing up for his original interview.  Why does this process have to take so freaking long?

I guess the weight of the previous weeks stress finally got to me when I walked into my favorite, local coffee shop for my daily latte, and my favorite barista asked me how I was doing and the tears started flowing....and flowing and flowing.  I could not pull myself together, for like 2 hours.  Poor barista didn't know what to do with me.  Can we say awkward?  So it was then work as usual with smudged mascara and a red face.  I guess that sometimes girls really do just need a good cry.  I feel better now.

So now we just wait.  Our tentative travel dates are now April 20-26.  We are trying to get the interview moved up and praying like crazy that our finder actually shows up this time and that we will get cleared easily.  It is comforting to know that Robel's life is the same.  He is too young to understand that he has a family in Texas and is in a wonderful orphanage where he has great care.  He is healthy and thriving and has hundreds of people praying for him every day.  What more could a momma ask for?  God's timing is always perfect, even if we don't understand it.

The 11th Hour (adoption update)

There are these moments, while you are in the adoption process, where you feel like you got punched in the gut.  It's not that hard to do when you are dealing with the fact that your child is on the other side of the world and everything that you have to do to get him home is in other people's hands.  Every little, or big, set back just takes the wind out of you and proves just how little control we have.  This is exactly what happened this week. 

The ONLY thing we are waiting on in order for us to travel is Robel's finder interview.  The US Embassy has to interview either the child's birth parent, or the person that found the abandoned child.  The interview was set for yesterday at 7:30 am, which would be 10:30 pm Thursday night-our time.  Our finder would have to travel over 5 hours to get to his interview, but agreed and everything was a go.  We were expecting clearance Friday morning and then could travel as soon as we liked.  I started looking at plane tickets once the interview was set to get an idea of potential travel dates.  Let's face it, with 4 kids and a job, trying to leave the country for a week is like moving mountains.  There were very little travel options online, so I contacted our travel agent to have her look.  She was having a hard time getting us flights as well.  We made the decision based on faith and went ahead and booked our tickets for a week after the finder interview.


All day Thursday, my stomach was in knots.  Thursday afternoon we received an email letting us know that our finder couldn't make his Embassy appointment.  Punched in gut feeling times 100.  Unfortunately for us, Ethiopia is 9 hours ahead of us, which means that everyone there is already headed into their weekend.  Which also means that we don't have any answers as to why he couldn't make it, no answers as to whether or not he can reschedule or when that could possibly be?!  Can Monday get here soon enough?  We are suppose to board a plane in 8 days.  Stressed doesn't even do this situation justice.

After speaking with our case worker, we decided to keep our travel plans as is.  We are going to trust that we get this interview taken care of this coming week, that everything will go smoothly and we will get cleared to come get our son before we board a plane in 8 days.  Did I say that already?  Holy crap.  Please be in prayer with us that all of this happens, that we can keep our travel dates the same, and that God is preparing our sweet Robel's heart for us!  Good grief I can't wait to get our little man home!

My Valentine

Valentine's Day was last week.  I love Valentine's Day.  Most men think of it as some made up holiday to make them spend unnecessary money.  Women think of it as a made up holiday that gets us a present for no reason.  Score!  The older I get, and the longer that the Hubby and I have been together (11 years btw), the less I expect on February 14th.  Just get me a card, write how wonderful I am in it and I'm pretty happy.  Don't get me wrong...I'd love to wake up one year to diamonds, but I won't hold my breath. 

The Hubby and I actually got engaged on Valentine's Day.  We've come so far in the past 11 years.  Up until about 5 years ago, I would have expected some big production on the love holiday.  I constantly needed for him to show me how much he loved me.  I would even pick fights over the dumbest things just to test him and see how he would react.  I was nagging and tried to make him into the person that I thought he should be instead of just loving him for the amazing man he was.

As the years went on and our lives became more chaotic (add children), the more stress it put on our relationship.  Like any new mother, I spent all day caring for needy children and had little left to give to my spouse at the end of the day.  When you're nursing a baby round the clock and have a toddler wanting you to hold them 24/7, then the hubby comes home and loves physical touch...it was enough to make me want to run away.   Add baby number 3, a case of post pardum depression and the 7 year itch all at the same time.  How we made it through that year, is only by the grace of God.


Here's the deal.  Marriage is crazy hard.  Doing life with another person that is completely different than you is super challenging.  Sharing a home, children, finances and making major decisions together takes a buttload of patience.  I don't know if there was a defining moment around that 7-8 year mark, but at some point I decided that my marriage was worth fighting for.  That divorce wasn't an option for us.  We could live unhappily for the rest of our lives, or figure out how to be happy together.  Listen, it's not my job to make my husband happy.  It's not his job to make me happy.  We shouldn't have to change who we have always been in order to create bliss in our marriage.  It IS our job to seek the Lord in everything and by his grace, he will work it out for His glory.


I don't want to be a nagging, annoying wife.  I want my husband to remember every. single. day. why he fell in love with me.  I don't want there to be resentment in our marriage and I definitely don't want to live as roommates for the sake of our children.  I want us to grow together.  We are not perfect, but, we are better than we were 11 years ago.  I know that there will be more hardships in the future, but the stronger our relationship is, the better we will be able to handle those obstacles.  I am by no means an expert on marriage, but there are some things that I think we do well...

1.  We seek the Lord's will for our marriage and family.  We pray, we go to church together, we are involved in a Lifegroup with other couples that are believers.  We are constantly growing our faith, because I strongly believe that marriages just don't work unless God is in the center of it.

2.  We have fun together!  We don't have much, if anything in common.  Therefore, we have to find things that interest us both.  We like to play games and sit on the patio after the kids are in bed and talk about life.  We joke around and have people over often for dinner to hang out and build relationships.  We watch Walking Dead every week because it's obviously the best show on TV.  Obviously.

3.  Date nights.  Enough said.  I know that it's hard to make time for date nights.  It's time consuming getting the kids worked out with sitters and it's expensive, but it's a must.  Period.  If we haven't had a date night in a month, we are both craving one.  It's so nice to get away without kids, try new restaurants or go shopping together, and just enjoy one another.  There are some months that the only time we even talk about anything important or catch up is on date nights.  I cannot tell you how much this will do for the well-being of your marriage.  Make it a priority.

There isn't a day that goes by that I don't thank God for Keith.  He can annoy the crap out of me, but he shows me love like nothing I've ever known.  I am a better person because of him and even though he thinks Valentine's is a stupid "holiday", I'm glad that it's a reminder of how much our love has grown since he proposed and I said YES!

Robel Turns "2"

February 11th was Robel's "birthday".  I use quotations because we really don't know when his birthday is exactly?  When we received Ro's file back in July, there were 3 estimated birthdays listed.  I called our agency and asked which birthday were we suppose to use?  They told us to just pick one!  Knowing that he was underweight and developmentally behind, we decided that we would go with the birth date that made him the youngest on paper.  So, Ro turned "2" this week.  After meeting him, we've decided that he's probably closer to 3.  However, the more time I can get with him before kindergarten, the better!

Tuesday was a big day because not only was it his birthday, but we also got submitted to Embassy!  This is the last step before we can go and pick him up.  This part can take up to 6 weeks or more, hopefully it will be much quicker than that!  I'm not going to lie, this part of the adoption process has definitely been the hardest.

It's been 6 weeks since we left Ethiopia.  6 weeks since we got to hold, kiss and love on our son who is on the other side of the world.  The waiting in adoption sucks.  It goes against everything within me to be at other people's mercy.  I am a doer.  I get things done.  I don't procrastinate.  I'm type A to the extreme.  I knew going in to this process that there is no definite "due date".  It could be months, it could take years.  I prepared my mind and my heart for the waiting game and felt like I handled the first 2 years pretty well.  (Of course there was that unexpected pregnancy and screaming baby for the first 6 months that kind of kept me preoccupied.)  Then we got Robel's file and there was more paperwork, rainy season and then waiting on MOWA so that we could get a court date.  Those 5 months even went by fairly quickly due to the busyness of summer, school starting and then the holidays.  But then we met him...

Time is going by so slow.  The holidays are over.  It's cold in Texas, so there's a lot of staying inside and chilling.  Everything is done.  We are ready for him.  My thoughts are consumed with what he's doing.  Whether he's eating enough or sleeping well.  Whether he's sick or is getting enough TLC.  Wondering if he's reaching any developmental milestones that I'm missing...again.  I just want him home.

I most certainly don't think that it's going to be rainbows and butterflies once he gets here.  In fact, I've pretty much decided that the first 6 months are going to be absolute hell.  Prepare for the worst and hope for the best, right?  All he knows is that every person that he's depended on has left him.  He doesn't understand trust or security.  He is going to come from a quiet, organized orphanage to complete crazy.  Our house is loud, our house is messy, our house is busy and chaotic.  It's going to take time for everyone to adjust and get into the groove with a child that has had almost 3 years of life before us.  Almost 3 years of life and 3 different "homes".  Numerous caregivers that have came and gone, and the first year and a half of his life with very little attention.  Adoption will be the hardest thing we ever do, and the most rewarding.  I'm sure of it.  God doesn't call us to do things that are easy and comfortable.  When we do what he calls us to, no matter how challenging, it will be used for His glory.

So while we are waiting and while time goes by at a turtles pace, I will stare at this sweet picture and pray over that sweet face....and feel sorry for myself that we missed spending his "birthday" with him.

Meeting Robel

I haven't had the words to write an appropriate post about our Ethiopia trip.  So many emotions, not many that I can accurately express.  It is such a surreal feeling flying across the world to meet your child.  Ethiopia is such an amazing place, I cannot wait to go back.  It's overpopulated, animals walk around everywhere, it smells like burnt gasoline and it's exactly what I imagined it to be.  I had prepared myself for the culture shock and knew that I had to look past that in order to take every piece of my son's home in.  I wanted to experience everything about the culture that I could possibly cram in the short amount of time that we were there.  What I didn't expect was to fall in love with the people.  Ethiopians, and I'm assuming Africans as a whole are the most content people.  They have a sense of peace and a calmness about them that is so desirable.  Their way of life is slow and meaningful.  They value relationships and community.  They enjoy life and don't get bent out of shape over things that just don't matter.  I want that.  I want to not feel rushed everywhere I go and I want to be content with the amazing life I have.  I want to invest in meaningful relationships and enjoy this life that I have been given.  I constantly prayed that God would permanently etch in my brain the things that we experienced there, so that the next time I take anything that we have in America for granted, I will be humbled by those memories.


Meeting Silas Robel did not go exactly as I had imagined.  We walked through the door of his room and all of the kids were playing in their cribs.  He was standing in his, staring at us.  I walked over, huge smile on my face, tears in my eyes and said, "hey buddy"!  He looked at me, threw himself on the mattress and started kicking and screaming.  Kodak moment.  The orphanage director picked him up and pushed him towards me saying, "Robee!  Mommy and Daddy"!  I scooped him up and we cried together.  The director reassured me that he reacts this way to all strangers.  I'm not sure if that's really true or if she was trying to make me feel better.  He eventually warmed up and we spent a couple of hours playing with him and all of his little roommates.  I left feeling pretty good about our relationship.  The second day I walked in his room and the second he saw me, he threw himself down and started kicking and screaming.  Wow, glad to see you too!  We've got some work to do.

The Hubby asked me what I expected him to do and I said that I expected him to throw his arms up and yell Mommy and run towards me!  Totally kidding.  Wishful thinking?  After seeing how nervous he was, I knew in my gut that I had to come back on the second trip.  We had planned all along that for financial reasons, the Hubby would make the second trip by himself and hopefully my brother would be able to go and document the trip for us.  Having met him, and can only imagine how hard that week with him in Ethiopia is going to be, we both agree that he is going to need his Mommy!  I also decided that maybe I should actually read one of the many attachment books I have ordered since starting the adoption process.  Looks like it's going to be harder than I expected.  But, God's grace is always sufficient and I am on pins and needles waiting to bring our sweet Robee home.  Here's the video of the first time I got to hold my little Ethiopian...

Cousin Trouble

My sister has 3 boys under the age of 4!  Her #2 and # 3 are the exact same ages as my #3 and #4.  As of January, we now live about 20 minutes away from them which makes cousin life so much fun!  We are constantly trading kiddos and having sleepovers.  There are tons of weekday playdates and lots of action with 5 little boys being at home most of the time.  All of that being said....


                                               Meet Charlie...

                                             
                                               Meet Beckham

These two are T-R-O-U-B-L-E!

They are best friends, wholeheartedly, and they are also VERY mischievous.  They are both middle children and love attention, negative or not.  They feed off one another and cannot be left out of your sight for more than a few minutes.  Whatever one does, the other mimics, even if that means stripping down completely naked and running around my house pretending like they are going to pee on everything.  That may or may not have happened earlier this week.  They are always dirty, they never wear shoes, they have zero fear and only by the grace of God haven't had a broken bone...yet.  I can foresee these two being each others best man at their weddings, giving the most hilarious speeches of things they did growing up together.  Let's hope they don't burn one of our houses down before then!  These pictures are a great representation of these weirdo's personalities! (And yes, I am aware that Becks has a mullet in these pictures.  Don't worry, it's been taken care of since.)

What a freak show!  Any takers?

Hendrix is One

My baby turned 1!  His birthday completely snuck up on me.  I think I was in denial.  When I found out that I was pregnant with Henny, I was less than ecstatic.  Remember this post?  Weeks of uncertainty, months of nausea, pregnancy hives and a 2 week longer pregnancy than all the rest.  Shoot me.  Then he came out and screamed for 6 months.  I had decided that I was being punished for something in my past.  Fast forward to today and this baby brings so much joy to our home.  He's happy.  He's so unbelievably easy.  He's sleeping!  Praise the Lord for that one.  He is the biggest momma's boy.  He rarely cries and is completely content just playing by himself.  He is still hanging strong in the 75th percentile and we could not imagine our lives without him.  God really does know what he's doing!!

The other 3 kiddos had over the top 1st birthday parties.  This is kind of how Hendrix 1st birthday went down....  We went to church on Sunday morning and his birthday was on that Tuesday.  We left church and I decided that I should probably throw something together to celebrate.  I called family and asked them if they were available to come over for dinner that night.  They were.  I dropped the Hubby and kids off at the house and ran to Target.  I bought some plates and napkins and cupcakes.  Threw a banner up and stuck a birthday hat on him and BAM, we had a party.  Sorry Henny, that's just how we roll with the 4th kid.  Eat your hearts out....

Here are all the hooligans on their one year birthdays...