Mozambique Journal Day 1

I've been home for a couple of weeks now.  Kept thinking the right words would come, but they never did.  Going to a 3rd world country really rocks you to your core.  So many feelings.  So many thoughts and emotions and questions constantly circulating.  You just can't describe it without seeing it for yourself.  The level of poverty is mind blowing to typical people living our comfortable little lives in our comfortable little bubbles.  Putting things into perspective is an understatement.  First world problems now unnerve me more than ever.  Trying to find the balance between selling everything we have and giving it to the poor, or carrying on about my normal life pre-trip.  I don't know what the answer is.  I stay up all night trying to solve all the worlds problems and all I can come up with is that I sure as hell hope Jesus comes back soon to put an end to all of the hurt.  So, since I clearly can't articulate anything I'm thinking, I'm just going to share my journal.  Day by day, here we go...

August 6, 2015


Woke up early after a great nights sleep in our little hotel by JFK, got ready and headed to the airport.  I was still feeling crappy from the sinus and ear infection, but took a ton of vitamins and meds and powered through.  Facetimed the kids before boarding and Henny cried for me : ( 

Boarded African Airlines and sat across the aisle from a man from South Africa who kept questioning Christa and I about why on earth we'd go to Mozambique to do relief work in a country that is "demonized"?  He kept reiterating, after several glasses of wine, that he had traveled all over the world for work and had never met people who wanted to help his country.  So sad.  Why isn't the church more present here?

Within 30 minutes of the flight, thanks to some annoying passenger in front of us, the tv screens had to be rebooted because several weren't working.  This caused them all to crash and we had zero entertainment the entire 15 hour flight.  Shoot.  Me.  So, decided to take my neighbor's lead and have a few glasses of South African wine.  The flight attendant joked that I'd never drink California wine again, and she might be right.  I slept in a lot of 25 minute increments before landing in Johannesburg early morning, where we had a 2 hour layover.

We hopped on a bus that drove us to the other side of the airport and let us out in front of our tiny plane, which we boarded with about 15 other passengers.  The flight was freezing cold and the turbulence was fierce.  After 1.5 hours we landed in Mozambique.  The "airport" looked like a large office building straight out of the 1960's.  It only took about 10 minutes and a head temperature reading to get through to our bags and out the door.  Christa's husband, Todd, and our translator/driver Afonso was waiting on us.  The driver sits on opposite sides of the car and you drive on the opposite side of the road.  Very strange.  Afonso says it's the correct way to drive, he's funny.  The drive from the airport to the farmhouse we are staying in was about 30 minutes.  It's very flat and dusty here with lots of palm trees.

The farmhouse is very cute and quaint, reminds me of Pepaw's house.  Roosters, chickens and kids run around everywhere.  The roosters never shut up, that's going to get old real quick. We had a quick sit down to get to know each other.  It's just Todd, Christa, Braxton and I staying here.  Braxton is here for the whole summer, heading up one of the projects that ministers to teenage boys called Spark of Hope.  Max and Afonso are here to help drive me around and translate for me.  They're both in college and work for CRI.  They know everything about everything here and want to change the way marriages and families work.  They laugh at everything you say and are so charming and laid back.  I already love them.

We had a couple of hours to unpack and explore the house before we slathered on deet over every inch of our bodies (apparently malaria is for real a threat here) to head out to Vengahana, which is the local churches youth group that meets on Friday nights.
At Vengahana about 30 students came.  There was praise and worship, a speaker and then words from several students.  There were 3 toddler girls that kept coming up to me and wanting to write on my notepad and look at pictures on my phone.  A young English student did his best to translate for me.  I didn't realize it until later but the pastor's wife, Noemia, had a birthday coming up and so the students planned a surprise party for her.  There were several kids that got up to speak about her and talked about how she was the only mother figure they'd ever had.  How she always steers them in the right direction and leads them toward the Lord.  She's basically like the Mother Teresa of Mozambiue.  One of the toddler girls was actually a child Noemia had taken in.  To have a heart like that.
Afterwards, we came back to the house and talked about all the things God is doing here.  I cannot wait to see it firsthand this week!

'Then Jesus said to his disciples, If any of you want to be my follower, you must put aside your selfish ambition, shoulder your cross and follow me.  If you try to keep your life for yourself, you will lose it.  And how do you benefit if you gain the whole world, but lose your soul?  Is anything worth more than your soul?' Matthew 17:24

That One Time I Prayed Anything

So I leave in a few weeks for a mission trip to Mozambique.  I had to google where that even was when I decided to go there.  I'm flying across the world on 3 different planes with one other person to go do all kinds of awesome stuff there for 10 days.  Leaving my family behind and taking a leap of faith for only the second time in my 32 years of life  (the first was adopting our Ethiopian, of course).  This kind of thing is way out of my comfort zone and flying across an ocean makes my armpits sweat just thinking about it, but I have this unbelievable peace and excitement that can't really be put into words...because this one time, I prayed anything.

Let me back up.  There's this women's conference called If Gathering that takes place in Austin.  It's a weekend of amazing worship and community and listening to speakers that straight rock your world.  The Hubby was able to score 2 tickets to If and so us and some of our besties made a little couples weekend out of it.  The girls went to the conference and the guys....well they watched a Fixer Upper marathon.  True story.  Anyway, there was this one speaker in particular who talked about finding your purpose and saying yes to things that fulfill you spiritually and saying no to things that don't.  It really got me thinking, what's my purpose?  What fulfills me?  So many people would say their jobs or motherhood or volunteering at a local animal shelter or whatever else is fulfilling to them.  I love my job and I love my kids and I work hard at being good at all things I'm involved with, but there's not that thing that I'm just like....oh my word, I get so much joy out of doing this?

I came home from the conference with a full heart and renewed spirit and a lot of things to pray about.  I immediately ordered a book by the founder of If called Anything.  I read it in one week and highlighted more than I ever have in any book, minus the bible.  She talks about letting go of our lives and giving our lives to Christ completely and how when you truly pray that God would use you Any way he wants, that he will.  That it will be clear and that you must go and do whatever it is he's telling you to do.  There is story after story of people praying this prayer and God rocking their worlds with adoption, fostering, moving across the world to be missionaries, selling their companies to give to those in need, etc.  I was like, I have to start praying anything!!

So I did, and then the next week I asked the Hubby if I could teach life group and talk about how God was working on my heart and about all the things I took from the conference.  We sat in my tiny living room like we do every Monday night, with the people we have true community with, and I challenged them to pray anything as well.  How cool would it be to talk about how God rocked all of our worlds a year from now just by praying this simple prayer, and meaning it.  Trusting that whatever he lays before us he will equip us for and how he can use normal people like us to do great things in this fallen world.  So I prayed and I waited...

For 4 whole days until I was at work the following Friday and my first client was a new one and so I'm asking all my new client questions to get to know them.
Me- So where you from?
Client- New York but my husband and and I recently moved here from Mozambique.
Me- Really?  What were you doing there?
Client- We moved there to get some programs up and running to help the people there.
Me- So why are you here?
Client- Well we work for this organization called Children's Relief Int. here in town and we are over the Africa division.
Me- Umm...so do you need volunteers for that?

You mean to tell me that there's a new client in my chair, who lived in Africa (that's so close to my heart), and is working for an organization that does amazing things all over the world and is literally 3 streets over from me and I've barely even heard of it after I've been praying that God would use me any way he wants is a coincidence?  I think not. 

So I ask to go to breakfast with her and her husband to hear all about Mozambique and all the amazing things happening there and all of the things that still need to be done there and all over the globe.  They obliged and the next thing I know I'd booked a mission trip to go see all these amazing things happening across the globe first hand.  Bam.  Crazy huh?

We leave August 5th and fly to NY with an overnight there, then fly to Johannesburg and switch planes to fly into Mozambique.  While there I will be visiting women dying of AIDS in their homes and doing bible study with them and taking them food or whatever it is that they need.  I will be working in a clinic there for women and their infants to come and get nutritional support and care for their infants and loving on them and resisting the urge to sneak a cute little black baby in my suitcase and bringing them home (because clearly I need a 6th kid).  But mainly I will be learning all the ins and outs of a program called Green Door where they build homes for families in need.  I would love to work closely with this project when I get home, raising support for these families who need homes.

It's going to be a life changing trip, I just know it.  I drink wine, I have tattoos, I sometimes dye my hair blue and I curse a little...but I love Jesus and he loves me enough to give me a purpose and help me carry it out just because I was willing to do anything for him and that's pretty freaking awesome.

If Not Me Then Who?

I have this friend, I love her.  She is a super mom to 3 girls.  She volunteers at our little title one school all the time.  She's on the PTA or PTO or whatever it is called.  I'm not so much in to volunteering at my kids schools.  If you need me to send a dozen cookies to a party or send $20 for a teacher appreciation gift, I'm your gal.  But, for the love of Pete, don't ask me to volunteer what little extra time I have and spend it with more bratty kids.  I decided a few years ago that I was going to start saying no to anything extra that doesn't fulfill me.  I know, I'm kind of a jerk like that.  I'll own it.  But I admire my friend for spending her extra time trying to make my kids school better.  When I give her a hard time about it she always replies with, "If not me then who"?

I love that saying, except I feel like this should be the churches response to the HUGE orphan crisis in our world today.  I'm going to say some things today that are going to step on a lot of peoples toes and I'm okay with that.  If you know me personally, you know that I am not generally a people pleaser.  Let me preface this by saying that we are not saints.  God placed adoption on our hearts, we chose to follow His will, it's the hardest thing we've ever done, we suck at it most days.  However, there is one less orphan in the world because of it.

We as Americans love to live in a bubble.  We love to see everything through rose colored glasses, until someone we dislike is voted into office and then we are all up in arms over it.  We love the idea of the American dream.  Go to college, meet your spouse, get married, buy a home, get a puppy, start a retirement account, travel, have a baby and then one or two more, buy a bigger house, give our kids more than we had and certainly more than they will ever need, get them through school, send them to an expensive college, get them married and then retire and travel the world until we are buried 6 feet under.  Sounds lovely, huh?  Except guess what?  The American dream doesn't line up with the bible.  Wait, what?

Listen, I"m preaching to the choir here.  I love my house and I love to shop and I love to eat at nice restaurants and I love to go on vacation and my kids have never wanted for a damn thing.  I don't know where the right balance is.  But I do know that there are over 100 million children in this world as we speak that do not have a mom or dad or a place to call home.  I know that we don't like to think about babies lying in a crib all day and only having their diapers changed once a day and only getting a bottle of formula if there is any available.  We don't like to think about them dying alone in their sleep because of a minor cold because their weak bodies couldn't fight it off and there's no medicine.  We don't like to think about toddlers living in a tiny room and never getting to see outside the 4 walls they live in.  They are frail and malnourished and extremely under developed.  They have sad eyes and tummy aches and don't know what a hug feels like.  We don't like to think about the orphans over the age of 3 that will most likely never even be considered for adoption because they aren't little and cute and they would come with too much baggage and would be too hard to deal with so they will age out of whatever twisted system they're in and be thrown out of the orphanage or institution with zero survival skills.

People, this is the world we live in.  We can bury our heads in the sand and keep on living in our comfortable homes and pretend like there aren't any real problems in the world, but there are.  And if we don't do something about it, who will?  I believe that it is our job to take care of orphans.  I believe that adoption is God's will for just about everyone.  I believe that if you pray about it with your spouse, God will put it on your heart as well and will provide the means to make it happen.  I believe that we can end the orphan crisis.  I believe that every child deserves to have a family and that I come in contact with 20 people a day that could provide a family for an orphan.  I believe that it is hard and expensive and stressful and sacrificial.  But if not us, then who?

Stupid Pinterest Valentine's

I try not to let little things bother me because let's face it, I got 99 problems and Pinterest Valentine's shouldn't be one of them, but somebody needs to speak up.  Do y'all remember back in the olden days when your mom would take you to K-Mart the night before Valentine's to pick out a $1 box of ugly cards to pass out to your friends the next day at school?  Or, where we had to bust out the construction paper and markers and make ugly little folded cards with a sticker on it?  What happened to those glorious days?  When did we decide as parents that every single little holiday party in our kids lives had to become this over the top, ridiculous show of events?  Let me just give you a little insight into how we roll at the Green house when it comes time for a Valentine's party...

About 2 days before the party I run the kids up to Target and they have about 2.5 minutes and about $3 a piece to spend on Valentine's for their friends.  Basically, grab whatever crap is left over and go home and write your name on it.  Done.  Big girls head off to their school parties with their Fun Dip packets, ask me if I'm coming to their parties, to which I reply "Umm...love ya, but ain't nobody got time to watch you eat an ice cream sundae while you ignore me and play with your friends.  Some Momma's gotta work."  Then I go to the boys little MDO school, rush them through the door and throw a bag of unopened suckers at the teacher and ask her to pass those out amongst their friends.  I don't even know the quantity or how many kids are in the class, but surely each child will get a freaking Dum Dum.  I'm feeling pretty good about the fact that my 5 children miraculously made it to their parties with something in tow, until I get on social media and start looking at what all the other moms sent with their kids...

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  Here's the deal, I think these Valentine's are adorable. (I don't have a black heart)  But, these are not to impress the kids, these are to impress other mothers.  These are to say I love my children more than you because I spend time making these over the top Valentine's for all of my kids friends.  What, are you Vampires?  Do you sleep?  Who the heck has time for that crap?  Other Pinterest mothers are turning their noses up at each other and non Pinterest mothers feel like the a-hole parent.  Let's just stop.  Stop the madness.  Let's all go back to the good ole days where kids had to make their own dang Valentine's and mothers didn't have to spend a ton of time and money on crap that is thrown in the trash the day after.  All those kids want is sugar so throw them a Pixy Stix and call it a day.

A Letter to Robee on Your 3rd Birthday

Dear Robee,


Today you turn 3.  We will celebrate.  As per tradition in our family, you will wake up to balloons, donuts, banners and presents.  We will dote on you all day because in a family this big, you don't get a whole lot of undivided attention....but today is your day!  You have now been home for 10 months.  Some days it seems like we came home last week and some days it seems like you've been here for years.  Our relationship didn't flow naturally at first, it's taken some work.  I've made many mistakes and will probably make many more, I am treading in new water here.  Thankfully, you have always been quick to forgive and have loved me still even on my worst days.

There are things that I am going to grieve today.  The fact that we missed the first 2.5 years of your life.  The fact that we don't have any baby pictures of you.  The fact that you don't even understand what it means to be honored on your birthday, because it hasn't yet been celebrated.  The fact that we don't know anything about your birth mom, and I so wish we did.  I wish I knew her name so that I could talk about her more personally to you.  I wish that I knew her circumstances and the reason she felt like she couldn't take care of you.  I wish that I could write her a letter today and send her pictures of you, thank her for giving you life.  Tell her that you're safe now and so super happy.  That you have the most contagious smile and that joy exudes from your little body.  That you are obsessed with cars and always have more than you can carry everywhere we go.  That you like to give "face" kisses and leg hugs.  That you are speaking in complete sentences and learning to count.  That you would play outside all day everyday if we let you.  That you love to go to church and school and that you play so nicely with your friends.  That you eat constantly and are growing like a weed.  That you are loved beyond measure.

Silas Robel Green, even on our hardest days I wouldn't trade you for the world.  You have taught me patience beyond measure.  Showed me that my heart can love another.  Made my relationship with the Lord stronger.  Given me a heart for adoption like no other.  Even though you were abandoned, you were never forgotten.  You are going to do great things with your precious life, little one.  Thank you for making me a mommy again.  Although your siblings grew in my tummy, you grew in my heart and I am forever changed because of it.  Love you to the moon and back my little Ethiopian!

Mommy

 

One Month Later

We've been home with Robee for almost a month.  I love how people keep asking how everyone's doing and then
they are like, how you you REALLY doing?  So, here's the good, the bad and the ugly one month post adoption...

Robee is doing awesome.  I feel like he feels safe and secure with us.  He is definitely attached to me and adores his big sisters.  There are fewer meltdowns from day to day.  We are establishing boundaries and a schedule, which make our days run a lot smoother.  He is gaining weight and eating like a champ.  Developmentally he is picking up on new stuff every day.  The language barrier doesn't seem to cause a whole lot of stress on any of us and he is picking up new words constantly.  We have been to several doctors appointments, had tons of blood drawn and right now we are just working to get his vitamin D levels up and watching a couple of cavities.  So, over all I feel like he is doing amazing.  Of course, I've never done this before and don't know what to expect (did I mention that I started reading several adoption books and then tossed them because I was on the verge of a panic attack with information overload?)  So, we are just winging it.  I'm sure I will have to get the poor child a shrink later.

The Hubby and Ro are starting to like each other more.  It was touch and go there for awhile.  That Ethiopian has tested every bit of patience the Hubby has.  There aren't many men that orphans come in contact with so they are more hesitant around them.  They tend to act out in different ways when they aren't sure about someone.  Ro whines when I'm not around.  Like, non stop.  And not like in a scared way, like in a I'm going to annoy the crap out of you until you get my momma kind of way.  Problem is, I work 3 days a week, which means Ro is with the Hubby on those days.  Let's just say that they both could use some prayers.

The other 4 seem to really like our Ethiopian.  Sophia has been so super helpful.  She adores Ro and loves teaching him new things.  She is constantly reading the translation book trying to figure out what he's saying and speaking in Amharic to him.  If she's feeling extra helpful that day, she will put him to bed and lay by him and sing him songs until he falls asleep.

Lola is our entertainer and I think that she thinks her job is to make Ro laugh, and teach him dangerous tricks.  She is constantly giving him food and has woken up early several mornings to make him eggs because he loves eggs for breakfast.  He is pretty smitten with her and follows her around yelling her name most afternoons.

Beckham has pretty much been a complete punk for the past month.  He is the victim and everyone is out to make his life miserable.  It's like I thought we had skipped terrible 2's and 3's and then they hit at the same time with a vengence.  We are working on his attitude.

Hendrix thinks Robee is his little pet.  He thinks everything Ro does is hilarious.  They play non stop and get into everything in my house.  They want to eat constantly but heaven forbid one of them takes a piece of food off the other one's plate, all hell breaks loose.  They talk in their little baby talk to each other and then laugh and give high fives.  It's the cutest.  If Robee is upset then Henny sits beside him and pats him.  They color on my walls, fight over toys, yell and destroy everything in their sight.  They will be best buds for sure.  Hopefully my house is still standing by the time I get them out of the nest.

Because and only because of my little Irish twins, I'm pretty much exhausted.  It's like I have these two Tasmanian devils running this show.  They never sit still, they never leave me alone, they are loud and obnoxious and poop a freaking lot.  They both wake up by 6:30 every morning (for the love) and are just ready to whip my ass.  They are both begging for food and need their diapers changed, but the second I change them, they are going to drop a deuce.  Then I change them again and put clothes on them.  Why do I even bother because before we leave to go anywhere I will have changed them at least 2 more times because I'm pretty sure they have a hidden bucket of snot and dirt that they just go and roll around in as soon as they have clean clothing.  Then we go to get loaded in the car and they take off running in opposite directions and think it's so cute and funny that I have to chase them all over the yard.  Yeah, mommy thinks that's super funny when we are running late, which is basically all the time now since I can't even pee in the mornings without one of the little devils breaking something or tracking scrambled eggs all over my house.

Let's not even talk about trying to take them out in public.  Besides the fact that the Tasmanian devils are horrible, I have Beckham who is mad at the world and insists on arguing over everything.  As if that doesn't make my Target runs stressful enough, there's all the onlookers and the people that like to point out the fact that I have my hands full.  No.  Freaking.  Kidding.  What was your first clue?  The lack of personal hygiene on my part,  the bags under my eyes or the sweaty armpits from my borderline anxiety attack?  Can a sister get some Xanax?

So when you ask me how I'm REALLY doing, the answer is my life feels completely overwhelming and I'm hanging on for dear life!  But.... every time I hear that sweet Ethiopian laugh or run up and give me a hug, or when I see the joy in his eyes when he accomplishes and new "trick", it is completely worth every single moment of stress.  Although most days I feel like I don't have one more ounce of energy, patience or love to give, the good Lord reminds me that he called us to do this and he will equip us with exactly what we need, when we need it. For now I am holding on to that faith....and upping my Zoloft.


 

 


 

Bringing Robel Home Part 3

28 hours after leaving Addis, we finally arrived in Dallas.  Ugh, I never want to do that with a toddler again.  Ever.  We had a huge group of friends and family waiting on us with signs introducing themselves to Robee.  It was so sweet.  There wasn't a dry eye there.  Finally, our family was together!  2 1/2 years after starting this process, thousands of dollars, piles of paperwork, loads of stress and we finally had our family of 7 together!  To God be the glory for making this happen.  We will forever be grateful that He chose us to walk this path.

We have now been home 5 days and every day gets better with him.  We are learning his personality and quirks.  This is what we know as of now....

Robee does not like men.  In fact, if the Hubby was even in the same room with him when we got home, he would cry.  With lots of patience and perseverance, Ro is slowly coming around.  Let's hope this process speeds up because I go back to work next week and Robee will be stuck with Daddy.
He is a cuddler!  He loves to snuggle and loves to be held.  He gives the greatest kisses and high fives to people he likes.
He is a talker!  Unfortunately for both of us, I don't know what the hell he's saying.  But, he's picking up on lots of new words and using them and will repeat anything I ask him to...if he's in the perfect mood!
He adores his big sisters and probably prefers them over me.  When they are home, he is following them around begging for them to hold him.  Lucky for him, the newness hasn't worn off and they usually oblige.
Robee hates to be dirty.  He always asks for a napkin to wipe his mouth, hands and table off after he eats.  (My other kids should take notes)
He is very active.  He went from staying in the same little room with 8 other kids all day to having lots of freedom to roam and he's loving it!
He LOVES him some bread.  He's definitely an emotional eater.  If he's upset, give him a piece of bread and the boy is super happy.
He scratches his head and blinks super fast when he's tired and taps his feet when he's waking up.
He hates ice cream.  We keep trying to make him love it like the rest of us do, but he is not having it...yet.
He will share anything and loves to clean up his toys when he's done making a mess.
Robee's already learned how to tell on his brothers.  He runs to me and yells Mommy, no, Henny and points at Henny to tell me that he should get in trouble.

This little Ethiopian has stolen our hearts and we are just smitten with him.  He is a handful, but brings so much joy.  I'm so glad that I get to be his Momma and cannot wait to see what the Lord does through our little man!

Here are some of the pictures at the airport courtesy of Sara Hendricks.  Enjoy!