Monday, April 15, 2013

"I'm not called to adopt"

There wasn't a divine moment in my life when I was called to adopt.  The heavens didn't open, God didn't come down and stop me in my tracks and tell me to adopt a little boy from Ethiopia.  I fully believe that God makes some people's decisions to adopt that clear.  I believe that it's not as black and white for others.  I also believe that there are tons of people that automatically dismiss adoption because they believe they aren't called to adopt.  This makes me very sad because the bible is perfectly clear that we are to care for orphans. 

James 1:27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

Most of you know our story and how I have been open to adoption for years.  The Hubby on the other hand, not so much.  He was very content with our 3 kids, the cost was overwhelming and the thought of having a child that didn't look like the rest of us was a lot to have to deal with for the rest of our lives.  Trust me, I know that your mind can take you to a million places of why adoption would just be too much for you.  So, I asked him to commit to praying about adoption for a couple of months.  Let me tell you something, if you commit to praying about adoption, God is probably going to tell you to do it.  Why?  Because there is no justifiable reason why there are still 153,000,000 orphans on this planet!!!

I think the biggest fear most people have of adoption is how it will affect their comfortable lifestyles.

"We already have enough kids"
"We can't afford it"
"We don't have room in our house"
"What if the child has mental issues or health problems"

I could go on and on.  Listen closely.
It is not your decision as to how many kids you have, it's God's.  (I can completely attest to this)

If you choose to adopt and follow His will, the funds will be provided for you.  There are ways to adopt that will cost you zero dollars.  I would also throw in there that your kids don't have to be involved in a million activities that cost a ton of money.  You don't have to go on elaborate vacations every year.  You don't have to drive a brand new car and live in an expensive house.  And, show me where in the bible it tells you that you are required as a parent to give your child a car when they turn 16, pay for them an iPhone or put them through college and give them a 50k wedding?  All of those things are the American dream, not God's dream.  (I will get off my high horse now.)

Your kids can share a room, you don't have to live in a mansion.  Bunk 8 of them up together!  Hell, they will learn to respect one another and teach them how to live in harmony.

If you adopt a child that has physical or mental issues, then you can praise the Lord that we live in a country that has an abundant supply of people in the medical field to help with any issues your child may have.  You are right, you aren't guaranteed a perfectly healthy, "normal" child.  You aren't guaranteed that when you have biological children either.

Adoption is hard, mentally and financially.  It will never get easier, but you know what?  God doesn't call us to do things that are comfortable and easy.  He calls us to do things that aren't the norm and especially things that aren't categorized under the "American Dream".  He calls us to obey Him no matter what our circumstances are.  There should not be an orphan crisis.  Don't tell me that you aren't "called" to adopt.  Pray about it and let Christ make that decision for you.

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

The Name Silas

Have I mentioned that we are number 1 on the waiting list?  That basically means that any moment our agency could call to tell us that they've found our little boy!  I think a lot of people are confused and think that there is a specific child already picked out for us.  I'm assuming the confusion comes from the fact that we've called him Silas since we started this process.  Let me explain...

Here's how it works.  When you get to the top of the waiting list within your agency the agency starts to look for files of children that would fit into your family.  I say this because our agency will not refer a child to a family that is the same age as a child you already have.  So they are looking for a child that will fit in the middle somewhere in our case.  Once they have a file that they think would work, they call us first and ask if we are interested.  Of course we will scream, "YES"!  At that point, they will send his file to us.  It will have a picture of him, along with any information they have on him like status of birth parents, where he's from and his medical report.  We will have 14 days to pray over him and accept or decline the referral.  I can't imagine any reason why anyone would decline a child, but I'm sure it's happened.

So, when we decided to adopt, we initially requested a baby.  Most of the children in Ethiopia have names that are difficult to pronounce, so we decided that we would give him a name and keep his given name as well.  He would be too young to know the difference anyway.  We chose the name Silas.  We both just loved the name and wanted this child across the world to be personal to us as we waited on him.  Using his name, that we would give him, made him seem more real and close to us for some reason.  We would pray every night for Silas, not "Lord, take care of our child on the other side of the planet".  Our kids have called him by his name since day one.  Everyone that we know ask about updates on Silas.  He has a name and everyone knows it!

Fast forward past our very unexpected pregnancy and delay in the adoption, we decide to adopt an older child instead.  Then we had the dilemma of knowing that we were getting a child that will know his given name.  After talking with several people, that know a lot more about child psychology than we do, we decided to keep the name Silas.  We will still keep his given name as well.  We will call him by both for awhile and then I'm sure he will get 600 nicknames added to it, just like all my other kids.  Seriously, they all have at least 8 nicknames each and will answer to any of them! 

Anyway, hope that clears things up.  We do not have a referral of a child...yet.  When we do get him, his name will be Silas and he's going to be awesome!