Robel Turns "2"

February 11th was Robel's "birthday".  I use quotations because we really don't know when his birthday is exactly?  When we received Ro's file back in July, there were 3 estimated birthdays listed.  I called our agency and asked which birthday were we suppose to use?  They told us to just pick one!  Knowing that he was underweight and developmentally behind, we decided that we would go with the birth date that made him the youngest on paper.  So, Ro turned "2" this week.  After meeting him, we've decided that he's probably closer to 3.  However, the more time I can get with him before kindergarten, the better!

Tuesday was a big day because not only was it his birthday, but we also got submitted to Embassy!  This is the last step before we can go and pick him up.  This part can take up to 6 weeks or more, hopefully it will be much quicker than that!  I'm not going to lie, this part of the adoption process has definitely been the hardest.

It's been 6 weeks since we left Ethiopia.  6 weeks since we got to hold, kiss and love on our son who is on the other side of the world.  The waiting in adoption sucks.  It goes against everything within me to be at other people's mercy.  I am a doer.  I get things done.  I don't procrastinate.  I'm type A to the extreme.  I knew going in to this process that there is no definite "due date".  It could be months, it could take years.  I prepared my mind and my heart for the waiting game and felt like I handled the first 2 years pretty well.  (Of course there was that unexpected pregnancy and screaming baby for the first 6 months that kind of kept me preoccupied.)  Then we got Robel's file and there was more paperwork, rainy season and then waiting on MOWA so that we could get a court date.  Those 5 months even went by fairly quickly due to the busyness of summer, school starting and then the holidays.  But then we met him...

Time is going by so slow.  The holidays are over.  It's cold in Texas, so there's a lot of staying inside and chilling.  Everything is done.  We are ready for him.  My thoughts are consumed with what he's doing.  Whether he's eating enough or sleeping well.  Whether he's sick or is getting enough TLC.  Wondering if he's reaching any developmental milestones that I'm missing...again.  I just want him home.

I most certainly don't think that it's going to be rainbows and butterflies once he gets here.  In fact, I've pretty much decided that the first 6 months are going to be absolute hell.  Prepare for the worst and hope for the best, right?  All he knows is that every person that he's depended on has left him.  He doesn't understand trust or security.  He is going to come from a quiet, organized orphanage to complete crazy.  Our house is loud, our house is messy, our house is busy and chaotic.  It's going to take time for everyone to adjust and get into the groove with a child that has had almost 3 years of life before us.  Almost 3 years of life and 3 different "homes".  Numerous caregivers that have came and gone, and the first year and a half of his life with very little attention.  Adoption will be the hardest thing we ever do, and the most rewarding.  I'm sure of it.  God doesn't call us to do things that are easy and comfortable.  When we do what he calls us to, no matter how challenging, it will be used for His glory.

So while we are waiting and while time goes by at a turtles pace, I will stare at this sweet picture and pray over that sweet face....and feel sorry for myself that we missed spending his "birthday" with him.