4 Feels Like 27

I always wanted a big family.  I love the idea of growing old and having a house full of children and grandchildren coming home for the holidays.  I guess I forgot to think through the fact that you can't get grown children out of the womb.  You have to raise them first.  Well crap.  Now I'm stuck in the middle of complete chaos and have like 20 more years to go.  Jesus, come quickly.  I'm kidding.  Sort of.  Here's the deal, 4 kids is hell.  Saying 4 doesn't sound like a lot, living with 4 is like living with 27.  Straight up.

All that being said, I pretty much hate summer.  Don't get me wrong, I love my big family.  However, I love them more when there isn't quite so much togetherness.  The first week of summer was bliss.  Everyone was excited, we had VBS every morning and nobody was on anybody's nerves...yet.  The second week of summer was pretty good.  We went to the water park and it was still cool enough for the kids to play outside most of the day.  The third week there was a lot of excitement about the next weeks beach vacation, so things were still going relatively well.  Then we went on a little vacay, where we were all crammed in close quarters for a week and it was all downhill after that.  This past week was a nightmare.  Lots of fighting, lots of talking back, lots of "I'm bored", lots of spankings and vinegar.  Throw on top of all that, potty training a stubborn 3 year old because I refuse to have 3 kids in diapers.  And, anxiously awaiting a call that we can travel before rainy season to go to court is about all I can handle.

I like to think that I usually have everything together, but sometimes I don't.  This summer is one of those times and I'm just going to be okay with that.  I'm also okay with the fact that I don't like my kids 24/7.  Sometimes they are just a big pain in my ass.  Sometimes I wonder why we have so many dang kids?  Sometimes I sit around and think about all the things we could do if we didn't have any kids. World traveler?  Yes, please.

Then there are those random times throughout our chaotic days where Sophia wants to sit with me and talk about all the things she wants to do in life.  And times when Lola comes out of my closet decked out in my clothes and wants to have an impromptu fashion show.  And times when Beckham comes up and hugs my leg and tells me that I'm his princess.  And times when Hendrix is nursing and looks up at me with those big eyes and they pierce through to my heart.  It's in these times that I know my life is so much richer with all these hooligans in it.  There's more laughter, there's more fun, there's more love.  No matter how much they may drive me crazy, I would not trade these long days for anything under the sun.