Today you turn 3. We will celebrate. As per tradition in our family, you will wake up to balloons, donuts, banners and presents. We will dote on you all day because in a family this big, you don't get a whole lot of undivided attention....but today is your day! You have now been home for 10 months. Some days it seems like we came home last week and some days it seems like you've been here for years. Our relationship didn't flow naturally at first, it's taken some work. I've made many mistakes and will probably make many more, I am treading in new water here. Thankfully, you have always been quick to forgive and have loved me still even on my worst days.
There are things that I am going to grieve today. The fact that we missed the first 2.5 years of your life. The fact that we don't have any baby pictures of you. The fact that you don't even understand what it means to be honored on your birthday, because it hasn't yet been celebrated. The fact that we don't know anything about your birth mom, and I so wish we did. I wish I knew her name so that I could talk about her more personally to you. I wish that I knew her circumstances and the reason she felt like she couldn't take care of you. I wish that I could write her a letter today and send her pictures of you, thank her for giving you life. Tell her that you're safe now and so super happy. That you have the most contagious smile and that joy exudes from your little body. That you are obsessed with cars and always have more than you can carry everywhere we go. That you like to give "face" kisses and leg hugs. That you are speaking in complete sentences and learning to count. That you would play outside all day everyday if we let you. That you love to go to church and school and that you play so nicely with your friends. That you eat constantly and are growing like a weed. That you are loved beyond measure.
Silas Robel Green, even on our hardest days I wouldn't trade you for the world. You have taught me patience beyond measure. Showed me that my heart can love another. Made my relationship with the Lord stronger. Given me a heart for adoption like no other. Even though you were abandoned, you were never forgotten. You are going to do great things with your precious life, little one. Thank you for making me a mommy again. Although your siblings grew in my tummy, you grew in my heart and I am forever changed because of it. Love you to the moon and back my little Ethiopian!