Casey Wiegand (the coolest chick I don't know but wish we were besties so I could borrow her clothes all the time) posted awhile back in regards to assumptions people make about her and her family. At the time I thought, how rude that people would just assume things about some girl that they don't even know. Now, that is hitting a little too close to home. You see, we are all guilty of assuming things about others. We are, by nature, a pretty judgemental society. We look at others around us and make our assumptions about them based on the car they drive, or the clothes they wear, or the things they do/don't let their kids do, etc. I think it's safe to assume that pretty much everything we assume doesn't hold any weight.
Like one might assume that because we sent out well designed and nicely printed letters of support, that they set us back a pretty penny. Maybe a better assumption would be that my hubby is an incredible graphic designer who has a great relationship with his printing company and maybe that printing company very generously offered to print them for free? That would be crazy talk.
Or maybe one might assume that the awesome 2 page ad in a local magazine on the Hubby's business probably cost us several thousand dollars? One might assume that it is ironic that we sent out letters of support the same week this was featured? Did anyone ever think that maybe the Hubby is a rock star who's business is worthy of being featured because it is awesome, not because we paid for it? Maybe one should assume that one of the perks of a well respected web designer is that his clients treat him every once in awhile because he deserves it for working his cute little booty off all the time?
Someone might assume that this adoption is too much for us to handle. Someone might assume that this is going to take a huge toll on us financially and that we won't be able to give 4 children enough love and attention. Some might assume that we are in over our heads. To those people I would say, if you don't have anything nice to assume then don't assume anything at all.
Here are a few assumptions that DO hold weight with us:
1. We are honest and open. If you have any questions about us or our intentions, just ask.
2. The Hubby works on average 80-90 hours a week to keep up with his 2 full time jobs and to make sure that his family is taken care of.
3. I have a job that I love where I only have to work 20 hours a week so that I can be a mom and wife the rest of the time and make sure that my family's physical and emotional needs are always met.
4. We are responsible adults who would not make a life changing decision if it meant putting our family in jeopardy.
5. We are not saints for adopting. We are just following God's direction for our family and Silas will be a bigger blessing to us than we will be to him.
6. Our kids are healthy and happy. They cannot wait for their little brother to come home so they can have one more person to play with, and one more person to love.
7. We do not like hearing negative things in regards to our adoption. We know that it is not for everyone, but it is for us and we would appreciate only being surrounded by people who will support us through this, not ones who assume the worst.
This is an exciting time for our family. We want the people who care about us to pray for us and walk along side of us through this process, giving encouragement along the way. We were aware that sending out letters of support would make us a target for judgement. We were aware that people would probably question every purchase we make or think that there are other ways we could cut corners in order to save more money. We were aware that some would find it offensive. We also knew that for the few people that would be offended, there would be 100 more that would do anything they could to help us. To those people, thank you! Thank you for your positive support and thank you for loving our family and helping us make this dream a reality.