I'm a firm believer in...a great marriage!

Today was our 9th wedding anniversary.  9 years and 3.5 kids apparently makes things like anniversary's sneak up on you.  Neither of us forgot it, per say, we just didn't realize that it had crept up on us until yesterday.  We were driving to Hawaiian Falls with the kiddos and our conversation went a little something like this...


Me- So, I just noticed that tomorrow is our anniversary.
Keith- (deer in headlights face) Really?
Me- Don't worry, I forgot too. I didn't get you anything.
Keith- Okay, good. We will do it up next year for our 10th.
Me- Sounds good.
Then we high fived.  It was really romantic.

I am by no means an expert on marriage.  The Hubby and I have had our ups and downs just like the next couple.  Just like there are non negotiables in our parenting, there are also non negotiables in our marriage.  The divorce rate in America is scary and I'm not naive enough to think that it could never happen to us.  Statistics show that the chances of us getting a divorce down the road are higher than not.  Neither of us believe in divorce.  Neither of us want to live in an "okay" marriage.  So how do you prevent those things from happening?

First and foremost I believe that any marriage that's not grounded on faith is dangerous.  It is extremely important to pray for your spouse and with your spouse on a regular basis.  If you think about it, when you pray together, you know your spouses innermost thoughts and struggles.  When you lay those before the Lord and before each other, there is no better form of communication.

Second, make time for alone time with each other.  This is such a hard one for us because the Hubby pretty much works 24/7 and we have 3 hooligans that we have to find childcare for.  However, we love date nights!  It is so great to get away from all the distractions and reconnect.  Sometimes this happens over a nice dinner somewhere, sometimes this happens on a little vacation by ourselves and sometimes I will just sit in his office at 11 o'clock at night while he works and I talk his ear off.  I cannot stress how important it is to have time alone with your spouse, without a kid on your hip, where you can just focus on each other.


Third, don't sweat the small stuff.  There are so many times early in our marriage that I can remember getting so mad about something that didn't even matter.  Somewhere along the road I realized the importance of choosing my battles.  When I get irritated with the Hubby, I really try and put my emotions to the side and think about whether or not it is worth getting my panties in a wad over.  Neither of us are perfect and we do things that annoy the crap out of the other person on a regular basis.  9 times out of 10 the things we get upset about were never intentional on the other persons part.  I could totally be a nagging wife and him an absent husband, however, we choose our battles and strive for peace instead of turmoil.

Last, but not least, I think it is so important to focus on the things you love about your spouse instead of the things that drive you crazy about them.  Listen, it's hard to live with someone day in and day out.  I could nit pick all the things that the Hubby doesn't do or that he could do better.  Where would that get us?  Instead, when he is getting on my nerves I try and think about all the things that he does for our family and all the things I love about him.  Like how he is such a great provider for us, and how he is super funny and fun to be around, and how patient he is, and how great of a leader he is, and how he still gives me butterflies when he kisses me.  All those things outweigh the little things that irritate me.

Bottom line is that (hopefully) in about 20 years, we will be empty nesters.  We will have (hopefully) raised well respected, Christ following children and sent them off into the world.  I want to look at the Hubby and have so much anticipation for what the golden years hold for us as a couple.  I want to still know him and love being around him.  I want us to travel and have all the grand-kids over for the weekend so that their parents can have alone time.  I want to be an example of what a Godly marriage looks like and for our kids to expect nothing less than that for themselves.  I want our girls to want to marry someone just like their Daddy and our boys to find a virtuous woman.  I pray everyday that our focus stays the same and that 50 years from now he still slaps me on the rear when I walk by him.

I'm a firm believer in...not being my child's friend

Okay, I'm going a little deeper here with these posts.  There are a lot of things that are non negotiables when it comes to our parenting.  I could do a whole series on that topic alone.  One of the things that I see is a common problem with my generations style of parenting is not only laziness, but choosing to be our child's friend over being their parent.  Wonder why so many kids have entitlement issues these days?  I always wanted girls and I cannot wait until the day that I have raised them to be well respected women with families of their own and we can be friends.  Not until then.


You see, it is not my job to give my children whatever they want.  It's not my job to make them happy.  It's not easy being a parent.  It's my job to make sure they don't wind up pregnant at 16 or in prison after high school.  How do we, as parents, make that happen?  I'm not 100% sure, as my children are still young and dependent upon me.  What I do know is that they know from the time they are put in this family that there are consequences to their actions.  Every time.  You make good choices, your life will be fairly easy.  You make bad choices, you will receive a consequence.  Sometimes my kids think the consequence is worth the crime, most of the time they don't.

I can't tell you how many times I've heard my girls complain to one another that I'm being mean by not buying that toy they wanted, or letting them spend the night with a friend.  Does it bother me that they think I'm mean?  Nope, not at all.  In fact, I pretty much expect them to have a love/hate relationship with me until they head off to college.  I constantly remind them that they were given to us to love and protect.  If I don't let them do something that they want to do, or not let them watch something that I find inappropriate for their age, it's my right as their parent.  They can whine and cry about it all they want, but I'm not their BFF, I'm their mom.  I will make mistakes as a parent numerous times I'm sure, but I never want to look back and regret being their friend over being their mom.

I'm a firm believer in...blush!

You know how all girls have one beauty item that they will not leave the house without?  I have lots of friends that would say lip gloss, bronzer or a swipe of mascara.  Although I am a big fan of those, well except lip gloss, I just can't stand gooey lips!  My never-leave-the-house-without-it-on is definitely blush.  Here's the thing about blush, it just makes you look brighter.  I will have clients decide that they want to change their hair color and the first thing they always say when I'm done is, "I just need a tan now".  Umm...no.  You just need some blush.


I am always on the hunt for the perfect blush color.  The problem with my skin is that any blush that has a brown undertone makes me look like my cheeks are dirty by the end of the day.  I have to find blush that has a cool undertone.  My go-to is always Bobby Brown Pale Pink.  Let me tell ya, there is nothing pale about this color.  It is bright!  However, you can go as light or heavy as you want depending on your makeup mood that day.  This past Fall/Winter I switched to MAC Fever.  Love this color, but it has to be applied just so or you can look like you got a hickey on your face.  This summer I've been going a little lighter with MAC Dame.

Pale Pink

Fever

Dame

There are two important things to know about blush application.  The first thing is to use the right brush.  My favorite is the large angled contour brush by MAC.  It's the perfect size and you can use it in any situation.

The second thing you need to know is how to apply it.  I make a fake smile, pat twice on my cheeks and then blend up to my cheek bone.  Pat, pat, blend and repeat.  If I get it too heavy, just go over it with a powder brush.  Don't wipe off and reapply.  You will never get it the way you want after that.  Trust me.

There you have it.  Next time I see you I will totally be doing a cheek check.  Everyone should wear blush.  No exceptions.  You'll thank me later.

I'm a firm believer in...hair color!

That's right.  Hair color.  Not just because I'm a stylist, but because there are less than 1% of people on the planet that naturally have beautiful hair color over the age of 20.  I'm not saying run out to your nearest salon, ask for the first available person and get some streaky highlights up in your fro.  I'm definitely not saying to run up to Sally's and buy some crap in a box.  I'm saying find a reputable stylist, wait for a month to get in with her, ask for her professional opinion on what would look best with your skin tone, then enjoy the salon experience and feel better about yourself.  Here are some tips on color...


Highlights are great for people that need a little volume an are committed to coming in every couple of months for maintenance.  Highlights give a lot of dimension and essentially dry out your hair enough to add a little umph to your roots.  My clients with fine hair always say they need their highlights touched up when they start having to work harder for body.  On a side note...if you live in Texas, you should carry a backcombing comb at all times.  Period.

If highlights are a little too much maintenance for you, try an all over color.  You can do anything from deep reds, to chocolate browns, to using your natural color with added shine.  This is definitely the way to go if you are getting some of those pesky "natural highlights" as I like to call mine.  All over color will hide those suckers with just 30 minutes of processing time and leave your hair looking rich.

My favorite color these days is the ever so popular ombre.  Don't get me wrong, I'm definitely not feeling the black roots and white ends,  that's just trashy.  What I do love is using your natural color at the roots and very subtly going from dark to a couple of shades lighter on the ends.  This type of color will give you gorgeous dimension with little to no maintenance.  Think about a little girls hair at the end of summer.  Now go pay your stylist tons of money to make yours look like that.

 

I'm a firm believer in...

I thought I would start a blog series on things that I am a believer in.  Some things that are serious, and some that are not at all.  Pretty much just things that make my life easier enough to believe in.  The first one is something that I get a lot of questions about.  It's Beckham's amber necklace.

For some reason, we get numerous comments on his necklace on a weekly basis.  Apparently it's weird that a little boy wears a necklace 24/7?  When I start to explain the reason behind it, I usually get a lot of raised eyebrows, and several years ago I would have thought it was ridiculous too.  However, after #2 was born, something started to change in me.  I all of the sudden became very aware of all the crap that is in our food, realized that we are over medicated and that the FDA is pretty much a joke.  I started buying a lot more organic and locally grown foods, started delaying vaccines and quit giving medicine for every fever or upset stomach.

When our little man was born I felt pretty confident in my self educated, homeopathic brain.  That was until he started teething.  My girls never had an issue with teething.  I never knew they had a tooth coming in until it popped through.  When Becks started teething around 4 months, I wanted to pull my hair out.  He had awful diapers, quit sleeping, cried all the time, drooled like crazy and was just plain miserable.  I started researching ways to alleviate some of his discomfort and came across an article about raw amber.  Basically, raw amber contains very high amounts of succinic acid that is released into your body when activated by heat.  This is why it's important to always have the necklace touching skin.It is a natural pain reliever, inflammation reducer and immune booster.  I figured that even if it didn't help the teething, the other benefits couldn't hurt?

I ordered ours off of www.hazelaid.com and the Hubby thought I had officially lost my marbles.  I talked him into letting his son wear a necklace for a couple of weeks and see if we saw a difference.  Within 48 hours of wearing it around the clock, he showed ZERO signs of teething, and hasn't one day since.  This child has also never had a round of antibiotics and maybe 2 doses of Tylenol when he had the flu last year.  Could be the necklace, could just be a coincidence.  Either way, we are firm believers in amber teething necklaces.

My Big Girl is 7!

Today we not only celebrated Father's Day, but it was also Sophia's birthday!  I cannot believe that it's been 7 years since I spent 17 hours in labor with that child.  Seems like just yesterday.  We had her on a Friday, and she came home on Father's Day.  What a precious gift. 

If I'm being honest I will say that this little girl is a constant battle.  I realize that we butt heads so much because she is so much like me in so many ways.  We are both the first born, so I can completely understand where she gets her hard hardheadedness from!  She thinks she's always right, I think I'm always right.  She is stubborn, but not as much as me.  She likes to argue, but I will always get the last word.  She thinks her sister is the most annoying person in the world, I thought mine was too until a few years ago.  She is extremely picky about her clothes, I take 20 minutes to decide what I'm going to wear each morning.  She knows everything, because she hasn't figured out that I know everything.

She has so many wonderful traits that more than outweigh the crap she picked up from me!  She is an old soul and incredibly compassionate.  She will remember a homeless person we drove by months ago and pray for them at night.  She worries about Silas and how he is doing.  She is crazy smart and loves to learn.  There isn't anything you can show or tell her that she will not remember years from now.  She speaks like an adult and can carry on a conversation with a stranger.  She is a fashionista and homegirl most certainly has her own style.  She loves to do whatever the Hubby and I are doing more than play with toys.  (In fact, I can't recall her ever playing with a toy?)  She loves Jesus and talks about how we need to tell people that don't know him about him.

We are so lucky to get to raise these little ones and watch how they grow and discover new things.  Sophia is going to do great things and I can't wait to see how the Lord uses her!

Just a few days old.

One!

Two!

Three!

Four!

Five!

Six!

Seven!

My Baby is 2!

Our baby boy will be 2 tomorrow.  Part of me is a little sad that time goes quicker and quicker, part of me loves watching these little ones grow and become their own person.  I've said it before and I will say it again that the whole boy thing is still a little weird for me.  After having 2 girls, this little man is rocking my world.  He is defiant, he is destructive, he needs about 3 baths a day to smell decent, he is never seen without a car or motorcycle, he is still a terrible sleeper, he likes dirt, he likes to fight, he likes to climb, he throws a mean fit, his farts smell as bad as his daddy's. 

On the flip side of all those weird boy things...he is the best snuggler in the world, he laughs easily, he kisses often, he adores his sisters, he is in love with his daddy, he is a fantastic eater, he repeats everything he hears, he still loves for me to hold him, he is constantly changing shoes, he is no cry baby, he's laid back, he has my heart.

Little man loves being the baby and the center of attention.  I am most certainly worried about how he is going to handle this whole new baby thing.  It makes me sad that he won't be my baby anymore, but I can't wait to see what kind of a man he grows up to be!

June 12, 2010- The day we laid eyes on our little man for the first time!

Beckham's first birthday picture!

 2 year picture!  He's a little stud muffin, if I do say so myself!

Brag Book

Since kid #3, I have been a horrible picture taker.  Of course I snap about 100 pictures a month on my trusty phone, but don't ever pull out the big camera and shoot.  I was way over due for professional pictures of the kids and have a friend that is a photographer, so we set it up.  My exact words to her were, "It is near impossible to get a picture of all 3 together, so if you can get just one of them all looking in the general direction of the camera, I will be thrilled"!  Homegirl came through like none other!  I could not believe she got that many great pictures in the limited time we had, with Beckham wanting nothing to do with a photoshoot when there were rocks to be thrown.  Check out some of my favorites and check out Sarah's website.  Seriously, she's a miracle worker.  www.sarahannhendricks.com

I know, I know.  They are adorable.  You don't have to tell me, unless you just want to....

Happy Birthday, Hubby!

Today is the Hubby's birthday!  I like to give him a hard time about his age because he is a lot older than me : ).  However, I was looking through pictures to post of him and realized that he hasn't aged a bit.  Pretty annoying actually, because as I was looking through the same pictures I decided that I need a major chemical peel, botox, a mommy make over and a new haircut.  What four kids will do to you!  Enough about me. 

The hubby could have cared less about his birthday when we met.  I on the other hand, think birthdays are pretty darn special.  After years of stressing this to him, he's finally on board and asks for presents now and wants to do something to celebrate.  Yesterday we went with good friends to Taco Diner and had so much fun hanging out and catching up with friends we don't see enough, and friends we spend every second with!  This morning he woke up to presents and cards and the kids told him a million times to have a good birthday!  My mom made him his favorite cake and gave him gift cards to have a day to himself at Northpark.  Does she know his love language or what?

I am so blessed to get to spend birthday after birthday with this man.  He is an incredible husband, daddy, friend and leader.  He is super funny, fun and makes us feel special.  Although he's getting up there in age (I kid, I kid), he gets better every year!  Happy Birthday to my favorite guy!

Us before kids!  Notice how young I look...

Our first baby.

Our second baby.

Number 3.

 Halloween 2011

 Us after 8 years of marriage!