Wednesday, June 27, 2012

I'm a firm believer in...not being my child's friend

Okay, I'm going a little deeper here with these posts.  There are a lot of things that are non negotiables when it comes to our parenting.  I could do a whole series on that topic alone.  One of the things that I see is a common problem with my generations style of parenting is not only laziness, but choosing to be our child's friend over being their parent.  Wonder why so many kids have entitlement issues these days?  I always wanted girls and I cannot wait until the day that I have raised them to be well respected women with families of their own and we can be friends.  Not until then.

You see, it is not my job to give my children whatever they want.  It's not my job to make them happy.  It's not easy being a parent.  It's my job to make sure they don't wind up pregnant at 16 or in prison after high school.  How do we, as parents, make that happen?  I'm not 100% sure, as my children are still young and dependent upon me.  What I do know is that they know from the time they are put in this family that there are consequences to their actions.  Every time.  You make good choices, your life will be fairly easy.  You make bad choices, you will receive a consequence.  Sometimes my kids think the consequence is worth the crime, most of the time they don't.

I can't tell you how many times I've heard my girls complain to one another that I'm being mean by not buying that toy they wanted, or letting them spend the night with a friend.  Does it bother me that they think I'm mean?  Nope, not at all.  In fact, I pretty much expect them to have a love/hate relationship with me until they head off to college.  I constantly remind them that they were given to us to love and protect.  If I don't let them do something that they want to do, or not let them watch something that I find inappropriate for their age, it's my right as their parent.  They can whine and cry about it all they want, but I'm not their BFF, I'm their mom.  I will make mistakes as a parent numerous times I'm sure, but I never want to look back and regret being their friend over being their mom.

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